Me, Me, Me, And More About ME!

idiot

2006-05-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

i am pissed off by the 3 of you. you guys sucks. 2 guys 1 girl. 1 couple and the other attached. let's give them a name. firstly, the couple. guy name C, girl name X. the another guy name Y. let's start with Y. you really sucks. stop ordering people when you your own self doesn't make it. and you didn't really do very well too. so what you are older. i don't care. stop acting big yeah? you just cannot make it. now the couple. you 2 sucks too. i hate biased people. so what the C is higher rank? does it mean X can do whatever she wants? wtf. so what X is C's girlfriend? does it means you can giveX a easier job? so what she work full shift? does it means she can go early when they are still others working full shift too? please bang wall and die. i am not being mean here. but i am stating the fact. i hate to work with the 3 of you. you guys make me puke.

TRIAL

2006-05-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

TRIAL - W-inds.

何度だって起き上がるよ

倒れても痛くても

No more tears

最後流す涙は

悔しいときじゃない

うれしいとき

夢を追うことは時おり

現実さと真逆

才能なんて不確かで

すぐに立証できない

誰も傷つけずに

街を出たわけじゃない

でも決めてた　保障などない

明日にかけてゆくと

走り出した夢へとただ

僕だけのためじゃない

現実は思うより

甘くはなくつらいけど

今日の僕は昨日よりも

少しだけ強いはず

No more tears

強がりはいつだって

僕の背中そっと

後押しする

力出し切れなかったり

誰かと比べたり

自信なんてあやふやで

ずっ保てはしない

何度あきらめかけ

荷物まとめただろう

でも言い訳できなかったよ

自分自身にだけは

どんな今日もどんなかけも

明日の夢描いてく

受け入れて　乗り越えて

意味はきっと見つかるさ

雨は上がり　夜は明ける

この空は果てしない

No more fears

限界はいつだって

苦の心が築く

弱さだから

いつの日にか　こんな日々を

愛しく思うかなあ

胸張って僕の恋

伝えられるそれくらい

何度だって起き上がるよ

倒れても倒れても

No more tears

最後流す涙は

悔しいときじゃない

うれしいとき

this song is sing by w-inds. it is one of their new single 'TRIAL'. it's nice. and another song of theirs is KAZAUTA. it's nice too. currently love this two songs to core. find it very meaningful. KAZAUTA is the japanese translation of the english song 'All or nothing'. it's really, really nice. on the day that the particular you left, candy play the english version of this song. on that day when i heard it, tears rolling down. i really like this song. whenever this song is play, i remembers you. although we only have a very short memory, it's okay. better than nothing at all. thanks for everything. =)

alright, the english translation of the song "TRIAL".

I always get up again

no matter if i fall, no matter if it hurts

no more tears

and the tears I let fall in the end

won't be because I'm sad

but because I'm happy

sometimes chasing my dreams

goes completely opposite to reality

my talents may start to seem unreliable

and soon I can't even manifest them

I didn't leave my hometown

so I wouldn't hurt anybody

but now that I've decided, there are no guarantees

I've got to stake everything on tomorrow

I started running to my dream

and it wasn't just for me

reality isn't sweet

it's more painful than you think

but today I ought to be at least

a little bit stronger than yesterday

no more tears

since my shows of courage

are always quietly behind me

pushing me forward

being unable to muster my strength

or being compared to somebody else

they might make me lose confidence

but I definitely won't keep on like that

how many times have I given up

and packed my bags?

but I wasn't able to make up an excuse

... at least, not to myself

no matter how bad today is, no matter how bad the past was

I'm painting my dreams for tomorrow

accepting them, surmounting them

surely my reason can be found

the rain lifts, the day breaks

this sky is endless

no more fears

because my limits are always

weaknesses

made up by a distressing heart

someday, will I be able to look back on these days

and think of them nostalgically

to the point that I could puff up my chest

and confess my love to you?

because I'll always get up again

no matter how badly I fall

no more tears

for the tears I let fall in the end

won't be because I'm sad

but because I'm happy

had some motivation after hearing this song and knowing the lyrics. really encourages me. guess whenever i am sad, i must listen to more this kind of motivating songs arh. lolx. alright, end my entry now. meeting weili and jasmine later for dinner. and back to my presentation. jya ne. =)

shocked

2006-05-24T08:49:00.000+08:00

wah!!! today is so unusual for me. reason why? i wake up at 6.30am and reaches woodlands at around 7.55am while my lesson starts at 8.30am. was really unusual for me. guess i have sleep too much yesterday. -_-''' another thing. was really unusual for me to come for the lesson today. today i am having science. just imagine today i wake up early and i am having science! oh gosh. i really find it hard to imagine it. science lesson is so damn boring. the faci is just standing infront of me. explaining last week quiz questions. and damn it. today problem was about heart. wtf. my greatest fear. damn it. should have come yesterday and not coming for today lesson. really regret it. argh`

don't really feel like seeing the both of them tomorrow. i am not hating them. i just dislike them. it's too biased. i just don't like being with the two of them. really can't stand it. totally can't stand it. only some of you might know what really happen. the thought of it makes me pissed off. grr. hopefully i won't see either one of them tomorrow. let's just pray hard.

sad, sad, sad

2006-05-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

argh!!! sad, sad. no refund for people who does not wish to continue their studies. wtf!!! argh! and must pay full amount for the laptop which the pupils have brought. grr. i got no money... sad. =( haiz. guess i got to bear with it. sad. =(

brought new bag!! puma bag. =D 50 bucks. woohoo` thinks it is quite cheap. anyway, really happy. haha. XD so, now i only left with clothings, shoes. good. maybe going shopping tomorrow. must see the timing first. sad. tomorrow science. hard it to the core. today i didn't went to school due to tireness. sleep for around 18 hours. wah! so, sad to say i got to go school tomorrow. ben skipping science lesson for many times. =( hooray!! 1 week + will be holidays!! although it is a short one but never mind. better than nothing.

feel like eating drumlets and pizza!!! *hungry* maybe this is due to my pms which makes me feel like eating lots and lots of food! XD

hot weather

2006-05-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

argh` stupid hot weather. i hate recent weather to the core. i want rainy days! provided when i reach my destination. hehe. =) have two tests this week. just some understanding tests. but to say the truth, i didn't studied for it and i didn't really know how to do it. hee. but anyway, hopefully i just get a simple pass grade and that's enough.

i don't really want to care how you guys wanted to rate me. maybe you guys just doesn't know me well. stop assuming you know me very well when you guys only know me for only around 1 month. whatever you guys wants to report or what, please go ahead. i don't care.

been really tired recently. working everyday. what to do? i have no money. the only thing is to work. other than rob a bank or what. nahz. i won't do it. that's for sure. wah!! guo hong have psp. damn. white colour some more. i want to have it! heard from him that his friend wanted sell it for 220 bucks. cheap! i am going to buy it next month. hopefully his friend still has it. =)

stupid silvercab. never ever going to take it. i really hate it. how can a drunk driver drive a cab? plus he doesn't know the way. i only have 1 word to say him. but not going to say here. but i hope the cab company can do something about it. please stop letting your driver drinks alcohol. it's really dangerous to drive especially there is passengers on it. if you want, just go die yourself instead of bringing others along. i really hate this kind of inresponsible driver. please bang wall.

schooling is killing me. i feel so terrible. especially i have to wake up early in the morning and travel from jurong to woodlands. stop telling me it's near. i think singapore poly nearer. stop asking me why i don't go sp. please go and ask the school itself or the government. plus the lessons is sooo boring. grr.. i really want to pass this year asap. i am going to go crazy. i don't see anything good about this school. the only good thing is that we can online. haiz. i just pray hard this nightmare can be over soon.

shiver

2006-05-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

shivering now. was sweating all over when i reach the class. but now. different case. was really cold. and did have a PROPER meal today. FINALLY! =) but still, i don't like this school. argh! actually was thinking of not coming to school today. was really, really tired. sleep during faci was talking. my friend saw it. but i am really tired. full shift yesterday. and damn. yesterday was really really busy. busy from morning till night!! non-stop. morning, i late. due to overslept. and i work as server. wah. was really busy non-stop. =( and night. a order taker. arh!! was also busy. sigh. but never mind. hard work do pay off. that's what i believe in. and was really, really motivated and happy during saturday.was praised by a customer and my manager said she will try to get 100 BUCKS.... VOUCHERS. DAMN!!!! i don't want!!! i want CASH!!!! no money now. waiting for my payday and my next month pay. i want to go shopping! i want to buy nice clothings, bags!! and most importantly, a mother's day present for my mum. i didn't get the chance to spend the day with her. work full shift yesterday. =( but i did message my mum to wish her.

my voice is slowly coming back. but my flu has not recovered yet. =( the medicine is useless. it is just a lie. but luckily, the medicine is free. =) but i am feeling drownsy now. the medicine is making me drownsy. =( feel sleepy now. and have to work in the night too. sad. this week, i will be working everyday. =( anyway, thanks weili for helping me to bring home some of my clothings. thanks. and do take care and rest well yeah?

i wanted to join wakeboarding as a activity. but most of my friends just ask me this question... "You know how to swim?" grr.. I DON'T KNOW. grr. haiz. guess i will consider it again.

no voice

2006-05-07T17:15:00.000+08:00

my throat is killing me. i can't talk. lost my voice. so guys, don't call me. message me instead. hate this kind of feeling. was wondering how am i going to talk in school tomorrow. damn. with the stupid presentation. i can't even talk. was thinking of attending the first two meetings then the last meeting i went home. don't know can anot. hopefully can. as i was planning to see doctor at the polyclinic. as some of you might know, polyclinic opens until around 4pm. and my school ends at around that time. how am i going to see doctor when my school ends at 4pm? haiz. hopefully it works.

slept for exactly 12 hours today. guess i am too tired. was supposed to reach home at around 12+am. but due to the rain, both weili and i decided to stay for closing to take the transport. hehe.

alright. was rather busy recently. quite a number of things keep happening. and please take note. is bad things. not the good things. argh. i think i am getting old. really, really old. been forgetting things that i got to do or type. grr... just now i was supposed to type something out just now but out of the sudden, i forgotten. damn it. never mind. will type it out when i remeber it. grr...

itai

2006-04-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

my heart area was in pain for this morning and just now. i am not having any heart problems or what. but just don't know why is it in pain. damn.

sleep real early yesterday. at around 9pm and wake up at 6+am this morning. guess because i am really tired. hees. but still, whenever i step into this school, i will automatically feel tired. grr. now is break time and i feel super hungry and tired now. =( finish the preparation for the presentation early just now. super bored now. really, really bored to the core. and thanks to the blog that i visited just now, i am feeling real hungry now! all the delicious food shown infront of me. damn. people shouldn't blog the food they are eating and etc. will make me hungry. grr.... *jk*

going for albirex match later. =) luckily it falls on weekdays. cos i can go. =) hopefully they win arh. lolx.

sigh. miss going out with besties. grr... out of the suddenly i really feel like going out to walk or shop, i don't mind. i just want to walk aroud. that's all. =) please do not ask me out on weekends as some of you might know, i got to work. no work = no money to spend. hees. so, my besties out there, do ask me out. =)

it's been around 3 days or more since i last saw him. somehow i miss him. argh. abit only alright. sometimes i do hate him for being like this. but still, loving a person means must love his everything including weakness right? but nahz. i have decided to forget him. alright. FULL STOP

yawn

2006-04-26T13:37:00.000+08:00

i am tired. despite i have sufficient sleep yesterday. but i am still tired. why? because today is "science" day. damn. hate it. please don't expect me to like science. grr. i just pray hard for today to get over once and for all.

guess not going town later. it's okay. town won't run away. that's for sure. let's all go town another day. =)

sigh. the more i study here, the more i feel like quiting. why? i hate the things i am studying now. don't comfort me by saying there are alot of people who can't go poly, so i must cherish this. nahz. to me, study things that i like only interest me. nothing else. i don't like what i am studying now. i hate the fact that i got to study things that i don't like. which i HATE the most. damn. i am really unhappy about it.

i am really depressed recently. don't ask me why. even myself i don't even know how to explain or express out. what i really wish to do now is to have a good cry. i just need a good cry. but i just can't seems to cry out. at least cry out will make me feel better. i wanted to cry. really. but i can't.

i am not happy at all. maybe in the past, i will be happy. but no, it's a no-no. please don't think i am happy and assume that i am in the relationship or what. let me tell you. i am not. things are not going smoothly for me. i guess hardly have anyone of you understand how i really feel now. i really hope that everything can just ended with a simple fullstop. i don't wish to see anything that continues. i don't wish to witness it. sometimes i wonder why things just can't seems to be simple and easy. why do i have to encounter all this problem that really makes me angry and sad. why is this so? i just wanted a simple and happy life. that's all. some of you might say maybe i interfere too much in others' problem or what. i did try to ignore it. but how can i when they are my really besties? i just can't leave them in the lurch. i am not that kind of person. can i just have a simple and happy life? can anyone just tell me how?

exhausted

2006-04-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

i am exhausted. that's for sure. have tonnes and tonnes of activities last week. hard to find a time to have a proper rest and etc. and i didn't attend school today. was not feeling really well. and thank god that i didn't went to school today. =) but damn. having science tomorrow. grr.

expected things that happen yesterday. don't ask me why. just have the feeling. but fortunate that i did predict this early. or else, i will be more depress. =)

why do people think i am happy when i am not at all. oh god, i am not in a relationship. please. i just don't understand why some of you think like that. anyway, i am depress. hopefully those who have mistaken me can try to understand how i am feeling now. i just need some time to heal it.

tomorrow going shopping with Jill and maybe Candy. really looking forward for it. didn't have proper shopping spree. must really shop tomorrow. went shopping with Jasmine yesterday. but it was a short one. have lots of fun with her. and crap alot. and the ice cream is nice! but who would eat ice cream on a RAINY day? but i love the ice cream! 4 bucks for 3 flavours. yummy! tiramisu!!! haha. tomorrow shall eat it again. =) brought a pair of earrings too. as some of you might know, i am a violent person. i spoilt my earrings. damn. went to take neoprints too!!! took 2 times. 1st time is a disaster. but 2nd time is nice. =) but ended up doesn't really look like me as the picture shown was rather too pale for both of us. haha. but never mind. really looking forward for tomorrow shopping!!!! XD

back to depression

2006-04-24T11:13:00.000+08:00

early in the morning and here i am learning physics. damn it. luckily its a easy one. =) but i am over tired. why? working over the weekend. saturday night shift. was supposed to work in morning too, but as you know, overslept. =X sunday full shift. morning till night. was really tired. having real backache. guess i am just getting older.

wake up early today. can't seems to concentrate since lesson started. hate it. don't like the fact that i need to study things which i really, really don't wish to learn. damn it. =(

break down on saturday. and the first person who saw it was green dragon hair. grr... and lots of embarrasing things happen when i break down. anyway, i think i must thank adrain for cheering me up. really. sorry if i say anything that is really unpleasant. my apologies.

just heard something that i am really sad and pissed off. hopefully the thing that i think about is not true. i don't want it to come true. i really don't. maybe sometimes i do think too much. i don't know. my heart do ache. i admit. but what to do? should i let nature take its course? i am not even sure about the path that i want to take. somehow confuse. as for pissed off, i hate the facts that they did this. it's really unfair and why can't she just appreciate what she have now instead of complaining to others? does she know that what she did really pissed people off. why can't she as a senior understand how others feel? we do feel bad, do you know that? we did our best but ended up being badmouthed by you. please go eat shit. i am damn pissed off by you guys.

I do (cherish you)

2006-04-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

I do (cherish you)

All I am, all I'll be

Everything in this world

All that I'll ever need

Is in your eyes

Shining at me

When you smle I can feel

All my passion unfolding

Your hand brushes mine

And a thousand sensations

Seduce me 'cause I

I do cherish you

For the rest of my life

You don't have to think twice

I will love you still

From the depths of my soul

It's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much

I do

In my world, before you

I live outside my emotions

Didn't know where I was going

'Till that day i found you

How you opened my life

To a new paradise

In a world torn by change

Still with all of my heart

'Till my dying day

whenever i listen to this day. i would i feel so touch and sad. i am still doubtful about the feelings that i have now. i am not sure whether i did wrong or correct. i feel so awakard to see him. in fact, i am afraid. maybe i just wanted to avoid all this all along. say the truth, i do wanted to forget him for as long as i could. somehow i think i shouldn't have fall for him at all. this is not really a good thing. i don't like what people have been talking about. i hate it. please go and bang the wall. i will be greatly appreciate if you really did that. some of you should know who i am refering to. =)

was supposed to work at 7am ended up overslept. didn't went work in the morning just now. therefore shall go and work later at 4pm. was afraid in fact. i don't like gossip. guess no one likes it. hope everything is fine. i don't wish to have bad things happening to me. as some fo you might know, i have been really unlucky since the year 2006 started. nothing have gone smoothly at all for me. i just wanted to finish this year as soon as possible. dump all those stupid nightmares and sad things. i don't want to remember it at all. let's just pray hard that i can get over all this nonsense.

went dinner with my besties ever Jill and Candy. =) have great fun with them. really. was shocked that Jill can actually eat that much. 7 slices of bread, 1 plate of forest of mushroom, 4 glasses of water, 1 lime juice, 1 slice of chocolate frudge cake, half a plate of potato wedges. shocked. she really can eat alot. haha. out of the suddenly, i remeber something. green dragon hair. haha. they should know who it is. and eye candy. lolx. can't believe the two of you actually.... haha... anyway, a great night yesterday. have lots and lots of fun. let's go out together another time. let's have dinner again! haha. ehhh.. do send me the results. =D

damn it

2006-04-19T10:00:00.000+08:00

wtf!!!! today i am learning science. =( hate it to the core! i have already survive through sciences for 5 years and now i still got to learn science?!?!?! damn it! most importantly is that, today lesson is BLOOD! fark! *sorry i use this word. was really pissed off.* i hate it. the mention of it makes me feel weak. grr... how i hope this lesson can end as early as possible. i just want to get over today lesson. I WANT TO GO HOME!X

went to match yesterday and they win. 2-0. not bad arh. =) Jun and Candy's favourite, Taisei socred. nice one! =) was really tired yesterday that i didn't manage to concentrate on the match. sigh. saturday match i can't go. working. damn. =( next week i definitly can go. wahaha.

somehow i seems like disconnected from the world. why? handphone been down yesterday. people called, i can't answer. people message me, i can't read or reply. thanks to the battery flat thingy. so, sorry about it huh guys. don't worry. today i brought an additional battery. wahaha. hopefully the battery is not spoilt or what huh.

anyway, today is the pay day. =) ehh... let's just pray hard that today i can get my pay. =) *hopefully* i am really looking forward for this all this while. no choice. i got no money. what to do? arh!! suddenly i thought of something. they better not give me cheques. they better deposite to my account. or else, i sure want to bang wall.

everyday is the same rountine. actually quite tired of it. somehow wonder, this school have lots of students. and each building only 4 lifts. how can it accomdate so many people?? damn. and i have been climbing up and down the staircase for the past few days. guess what. i have leg cramps now. really hate the fact that i must climb up and down the stairs everyday. damn.

and the weather been bad recently. raining when i was on my way home from school. damn. really hate it. and i am lazy. never have i bring any umbrella to school. and recently have to rely on juliana's umbrella. anyway, got to thank her. really.

arh! i remeber something. last night i told Jill and Candy that if i got my pay, i will firstly buy a adidas jacket. woohoo` i am really looking forward for it. =) and the most important thing... SHOPPING!!!! *happy* i have been looking forward for this all this while!!! woohoo` XD

alright. lesson gonna start at 10.30am. hate science lesson. i have never like science. grr.... have to survive this for a few hours more. now i am looking forward for the holidays!!! ehh.... labour day got holiday for me??? let's hope that i have. wahahhaa. XD

***EDITED***

i really regretted coming here. i wanted to transfer to other schools now. say the truth, i have enough of this now. it's not funny. i am getting pissed off. thanks to all this stupid modules. i know it's going to take me one year to finish this stupid foundation year. and stop comforting me that it's only a year, just bear with it. i can't. now i already can't stand it. totally can't stand it. i just wanted to transfer school. no matter what. i am really sick and tired of it. i don't wish to care about how my grade for this school is how. i just want to get out of this school and get to another school. i don't see the point of learning things that doesn't concern about my course. alright, maybe some people is more ambitous that they wanted to climb higher and if they are really unlucky that they did not get the job they want, then maybe have back up. i agree. but i don't like it. i am not ambitious. i am willing to take any jobs except for selling my body or what. i just wanted to learn things that i am interested. somehow don't understand why they wanted to teach us things that some of us not interested with. i am totally not interested in science or maths. i only interested in design. so why bother to teach me things that i don't understand. can't they see that even if they try their best to teach, some of us who dislike it might not wish to concentrate and etc. stop giving me bullshit like "oh, learn more is like can give you a backup next time when you find a job". nahz. i don't like.

i am really getting tired and i wish to sleep now. how i hope i can quickly ended this sucky day. hate it to the core. i want to transfer school. that's all.

please go eat shit.

2006-04-18T11:53:00.000+08:00

in school now. was pretty sleepy and i hate the team i am in now. i just hate one of the member. ha. the only guy. please. i hope you can get bang by the car. or just get kidnap by the robbers. wahaha. i was just venting out my anger. damn him. how i hope he go bang the wall, eat shit and roll down the staircase. alright. i know i am evil. but i really hate the way he did and talk. never mind. let's just pray hard that tomorrow i won't get to the same team as him. =)

sigh. was as sleepy as always. slept abit early yesterday but still, guess in the past i didn't manage to sleep well. therefore ended up getting tired when wake up. sigh.

don't really like presentation. hate it. argh. i got to go back and do the presentation already. i just want to quickly finish this day. =)

anyway, going to the match later. finally. got the time to go. =) hopefully they win. =) good luck!

***EDITED***
alright. i was feeling guilty about it. just now i updated during my second break. now i have finish school. actually just now he apologise to us. i feel guilty. i have this thought all along after he apologise. i wanted to apologise to him. but i don't know how to. i just feel that maybe give us more time, all of us will be able to understand each other better and etc. normally after the conflict, if the person is guilty or what, and they did go back and did some reflection and apologise when coming back. this kind of person is not really a bad person. at least this is what i think. maybe this kind of friend is worth making. at least. =) anyway, i hereby apologise for what i have said above. hopefully i have a chance to apologise. =)

yawnz

2006-04-17T12:56:00.001+08:00

yawnz. wake up early in the morning. feel like killing myself. don't worry. i am not going to commit sucide or what. i love myself. =)

was really sleepy today. slept at 2+am yesterday. nahz. not because of using computer. was just don't feel like sleeping. grr... and now, i am in the classroom now. the only 2 words i can think of is "BORED" and "SLEEPY". maybe i just not used to getting up early in the morning to study. and thanks god. today was having "maths lesson". but sad. wednesday got to study sciences. damn. hate it. somehow don't think that what i have studied now apply to my future. you can say that i am lazy. i admit. =) all i can say is that i hate all this.

did i regretted coming here? i don't know. it's too early to say. sometimes i do feel lost. maybe there's alot of strangers here. i know i can go make friends with them. but still, i do feel abit lost and scare. unlike in secondary school. things are different. haiz. i am not good at expressing words and etc. sad about it. but i going to learn it. =) do give me your support.

somehow depression out of the sudden. why? i don't know. =( i miss him. i really do. distance drifted further and further away. grr.. hate all this. or maybe should i just forget him?? maybe this is a good choice. and way, he's not mine. =)

yawnz

2006-04-17T12:56:00.000+08:00

yawnz. wake up early in the morning. feel like killing myself. don't worry. i am not going to commit sucide or what. i love myself. =)

really unlucky

2006-04-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

damn! today then i realised how suay i am. grr.. always have no fate with "him". and my bestie weili always have the fate with "him". jealous. she said he wave goodbye to her!!! argh! *jealous* hey!! is both of us alright?!?! haiz... just kidding. maybe he really wave to her. as like what i say, they chatted before. whereas me? sigh. never. ehh.. have. when i accidently knock into him. just a causal sorry. but never really go and notice him. sad arh. why it has always took so long for me to notice. am i being retarded or what. damn.

somehow couldn't understand certain customers. being good to them, they treated like shit. idiot. explain to them and they always don't understand or don't listen. don't know whether they got go to school before anot. sorry that i say these. but it's truth. why can't they just understand how we feel? nahz. i don't agree with the sentence "customers is always right". oh please. they had never been right. i hate this sentence. always piss me off.

school starting tomorrow. and i haven't got my pay. damn. desperately need money now. i need my pay!!!! damn. got to wait till 19 april. idiotic. argh!!!

i am not funny

2006-04-16T00:43:00.000+08:00

grr!!! find it sooo irritating... =( why??? haiz. cos of what sally say. grr... why am i funny??? she say whenever she see me, she feel like laughing. damn. i don't know what i do that makes her laugh. and it's truth that she always see me she laugh. weird huh. i never did anything. kelvin say the same thing too. does my look looks so funny that everyone feels like laughing? haiz. =(

was pretty relax at work today. stay outdoor the whole night. although last time i do hate staying outside. but today it so different. =) not because of less customers. i LOVE the weather today. soo cooling. i pray hard for the rain. it did rain. but i pray that it rains till 10pm. but it didn't happen. sad. and i hate the cat! was "chased" by the cat today. damn! =( people laugh at me when i was "chased" by the cat. hey! it's not funny.

finally!!! i saw him. =) but only awhile. despite he do full shift today. sad. he went off at 9pm. white collar tee. hey. i wear white collar tee today too! haha. couple couple. lolx. alright, i was just kidding. but he did look handsome in that attire. if he collar up, he will be MORE handsome! woohoo` but sad is that didn't really look into his face. haiz. till now, i had never done that. sad. as some of you might know... I AM SHY! hehe. XD school starting and i didn't have alot of time to "spend" it with him. sad. haiz. alright. i am just dreaming.

finally! ate cartel's breakfast today. haha. i don't like the sausages. but i like the bacon! *although it taste abit like ba gua...* but it's nice!! haha. cos is cook by somebody... haha. XD haiz. got to wake up at 6+am later. work start at 8am. grr. hate it. full shift tomorrow. tired. afraid that i might oversleep. hehe.

out of the sudden. i thought of something. it's about fengshui. i really wonder. people who set up fengshui shop, should be those who really good at seeing fengshui. and they should know which place and which shop will let them earn alot of money. but how come almost every fengshui shop i see, they never really earn alot of money... ehh... paiseh... my friends should know my english is really limited. can't really form good sentences and can't really explain what i want to say in english. haiz. hopefully some of you who are reading my blog can try to catch what i am trying to say.. hehe. =)

alright. now i am really tired. have to sleep now. take care guys! =) nitez! miss HIM always. wahahhahaha. XD

energentic

2006-04-13T02:36:00.000+08:00

woohooo` i am sooo energentic!!! was pretty tired for the past few days... guess i didn't have enough sleep... but now... hehe! yesterday i slept for more than 12 hours!!! therefore today i am soooo energentic and active. woohoo` anyway, after updating, i got to sleep. or else i won't be as energentic as i am today for tomorrow. =)

grr... hate it when i step out of the door today. saw alot of DEAD COCKROACHES!!! damn. hate it. was really shocked and scared. =( and the same thing happen when i got home. i can feel that if i continue to stand around my block here, the cockroaches will just fall and drop onto my body or hair! YUKES! i don't like this feeling. hopefully tomorrow the cleaner will just sweep all the 'dead bodies' away! let's just pray hard.

was pretty sad too. school going to open. cannot see him. time with besties getting lesser and lesser. grr... why has it be happening? damn. =( this week, i going to work everyday. haiz. no time to meet my besties at all. why is it so? i wanted to take off. but, i can't. reason? because my company is lacking of workers. damn. i hate it when the manager giving me stupid attitude. but nahz. it's over anyway. don't wish to talk or think about it. anyway, only can work 1 day for next week. *happy~* but to me, most importantly is that, I CAN'T GET TO SEE HIM! damn. it's been 3 days that i never see him AT ALL! grr... miss him. haiz. luckily working full shift on saturday. hopefully he won't off that day. wahahaha. XD

jasmine going to hospitalise. haiz. going to visit her on monday after my school. she was a great friend. really. funny girl. haha. hopefully she will be alright after the operation. do take care! and candy too!! congrats on getting a new job. =) must treat us yeah? haha. and when i visit the shop, do give me DISCOUNTS!!!! haha. anyway, i suddenly think of something... *shoes-destroyer* hehe... just kidding. i guess when you saw this sentence, you will want to kill me. sorry... hehe. =P

evonne!!! miss her too. don't know how is she doing now. recently never get to contact her. miss her jokes and company. haiz. guess she must be busy. sad. and jill too. hardly talk to her. i have been busy since i started work. and never get a chance to have a good chat with her. haiz. i miss the outings when all of us going shopping together!!!! haiz. how can i get back the old days which we have share together??? sigh. how i miss the old days....

alright. *yawn* i am getting tired. eyes going to close soon. nitez people. =) do take care. =)

tired

2006-04-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

argh! i am tired. really. today i was supposed to wake up at 6+am but ended up waking up at 7+am!!! grr!!! and i was late meeting Juliana~ haiz. sorry yeah. (m_m)

anyway, today was rather boring. actually it's not the student trainer's fault. it's my fault. why? cos i don't understand what they are saying. as i was late, therefore whatever they are saying really makes me confuse. grr... hate it. what to do?? haiz.. the only thing i can do maybe just to refer to the document which they ask me to download. hehe. just know two of the friends there. not that familiar yet. but still we did talk. but just some causal talk. hehe. but then the malay guy i don't know what's his name. hehe. guess tomorrow will go and ask him. and the girl i know is pretty nice too. she is younger than me by 1 year. haiz. was quite afraid that i might be the oldest there. haiz. better not. =)

say the truth, i am tired of going to rp now. imagine i am going to wake up early every morning just to take the transport there and etc. wah! i am going to be really tired. grr.

grr!! chengda is beside me now. and he keeps saying me slow. grr. but the actual fact is that i am FAST alright?!! haha. XD

alright. let chengda use the lappy le. or else, he will keep saying me. damn. haha. okay. bye. =)

eyes closing

2006-04-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

i am sooooooooooooo tired! work full shift today. wake up at 6+am and reach home around 12am. wah... stay outside for going to half day! i really don't know what he is doing. today, especially at night.. wah! i really like taking care of the whole cafe. take orders, clear tables, serve water... wah! but i just don't know where he went. grr.. i keep rushing for around 3hours++. damn. legs going to swollen soon. i need a good massage. yeah. but then, no money. grr.

tomorrow working night. phew! but poor weili. she got to work ful shift tomorrow. haiz. my legs are numb and going to swollen now. guess tomorrow i will really slow down alot. haiz.

alright. i am really tired now. have to get my beauty sleep. nitez. =)

superwomen

2006-04-08T01:10:00.000+08:00

just reach home. *yawn* really tired. from morning work till night. ate waffle fries which is cook by Vincent. hehe. anyway, really thanks and sorry that you have to specially cook for me when you going to prepare to close. sorry yeah.

tomorrow go to wake up at 6+am. grr.. now what's the time? it's around 1.14AM! and yet i am here using the lappy. cos have some important matters to do. haiz. bad news. i don't know how to tell the person straight about this. i am afraid that she might cry or what. haiz. wanted to help her but can't. feel so helpless. =(

saw him today that really makes me sooooo happy. lolx. natasha about the same taste as me. haha. but then i still i really think option 2 is much better. sad to say, he's attached. =) but i am more interested in option 1. =D despite the fact that i chose option 2.... grr... so jealous. weili bang into him soooo many times. grr... can i bang into him?? i wish i can bang into him. i don't care whether it is accidently or purposely... I JUST WANT TO BANG INTO HIM! haiz. sad.

just to say out something. if i have a gun, i will kill WEIJIE first. wahahahahhaa. XD

over exhausted

2006-04-07T01:58:00.000+08:00

argh! i am sooo tired... doesn't have enough sleep everyday.. what time do i sleep?? sad to say... is around 5+am in the morning. grr... why do i sleep so late?? the answer is that... I DON'T KNOW! grr... tomorrow working full shift. sad. must wake up early tomorrow. let's just pray hard tomorrow will be crowded with people. just to keep me awake. =)

next monday and tuesday will be rp orientation. sad. i am stupid enough to write that everyday i am free when i only know this news 2 days again and i forgot to change!!! damn. and my manager have already started planning. grr... hopefully he is kind enough to let me off on this two days. =)

sadd. didn't manage to see him just now. was shocked to know things about him. lolx. 22 years old huh. getting younger and younger. lolx. but still, unbelievable. *shocked* never mind. he off today and will be working tomorrow. and i can see him!!! *happy* hopefully we can develop huh.. hehe.. just slowly develop. that's my wish.. just kidding. =P

i just don't know why. i just can't seem to attract customers. grr... maybe i don't have that kind of WOMENLY feel.. sad. i always look like a kid. why is this so? haiz. but heck. as long as i am happy. nothing else matters. but still. please don't make me a host again!!!

school gonna re-open soon. not prepare yet. got to have some shopping spree first before school. luckily, my pay day is before school re-open. or else, i won't be able to shop. hehe.

alright. i am tired. got to sleep or else you will see a panda tomorrow. nitez.

new laptop

2006-04-05T03:28:00.000+08:00

arhhh!!! just brought a new laptop. after much consideration... i brought the brand fujitsu. pretty expensive huh... sad. but never mind. at least i don't have to bother about quarrelling with my dad regarding using computer issuse. hehe. now he is using the main computer to check soccer score. whereas i am here using laptop updating my blog. hehe. atually not very use to this laptop... but it is pretty cool when they say we just have to use our fingerprint to login instead of typing the password over and over again when logging in. pretty cool huh... lolx... XD

arh, arh. like a guy. actually this doesn't means i really, really like... but just admire. nothing else. he was pretty cool. he look quiet to me. and was pretty shy too. lolx. at least he does look like this to me... was quite crazy over him today. haha... was actually sitting at the bench there chatting with weili... lolx.. at suddenly, my phone rang... it's from my DAD! haha. hey, that's not the excited part. out of the sudden, i was halfway talking on phone with my dad.. and TADA! he appear. was SHOCKED! really. didn't expect to see him. really. and he was smiling to me!!! haha. alright... weili was there too. hehe.. but still, i INSISTED he smile at me. wahahaha. *evil* just kidding. but i got to say the truth, both of us did have eye contact.. haha... i was thinking back just now... and realise that he saw alot of my stupid acts. lolx.. shy leh... haha.. anyway weili, I AM GENTLE alright?? hahahahahahha....

kind of miss Jill, Candy and Bee... actually it been quite long since i see them.... i miss Jill and Candy's company... haiz... but this week can't have a chance to meet up with them... sad... cos of working. and worse. i work EVERYDAY! grr... i wanted to see Candy's new hairstyle. haha.. XD and i miss Bee's company tooo.... actually both of us didn't meet for months already.. since i started work, i never manage to meet up with him. damn. feel soo sad. and now... evonne never work as the same as me.. feel lonely too... it's like suddenly some of my close friends are leaving me... i don't like. i miss playing pool with wenyu too... it's been quite some time since we played. i miss kianbeng's "jokes" too... and chengda's company... haiz. SEE! i missed sooo much things within such a short time. I HATE IT! can we all please meet up often?!?!?!

i REALLY MISSED YOU GUYS!!!! CAN WE TURN BACK THE TIME???

clear

2006-03-31T00:55:00.000+08:00

alright. clear that the things between is clear. =) we have an heart to heart chat. say the truth, was really gald that things are clear. =) so yeah. =)

congrats to candy!! she finish her exams already. =) wish her good luck for her results!!!!! XD

sigh.. actually nothing to update. hehe. cos everything is fine now. but then, i guess i am sick. damn. i feel feverish. grrr... anyway slept 12 hours tonight. COOL!!! lolx. ok, just to update what happen today. hehe. alright, going back to sleep. hehe. nitez people! =)

all i can say is... SUAY!

2006-03-24T03:46:00.000+08:00

really weird today. went rp to submit the cpf form and etc... people there are really weird. went to the first station and the lady keep smiling at me... when i was queing up, she doesn't do that. weird huh. then the following stations too, was really weird.. keep talking things i don't know. never mind. luckily weili is there with me.. lolx.. crap with the fujitsu girl all the way. haha.. and the promoting computer insurance girl. haha.. they are nice. really. lolx.. hey, i am not comical. i am just a normal teenager girl. opps. i mean young LADY. haha. jk.

anyway, really angry and happy at the same time today. angry because my waffle fries was "STOLEN" and my straw was share by another friend of mine! grr... i don't like. i was sooooo angry.. i couldn't stop them stealing my waffles fries on time and i couldn't stop kelvin from DRINKING from my STRAW! grr... haiz.. was really sad... cos waffle fries gone. damn. but happy at the same time because of the girl at the rp and sally. haha!!!! weili should know what happen. lolx.. shall nag at her tomorrow again. woohoo`

damn. really broke. pay the 100+ bucks for the fees just now. grr... sad. heartache. and 50 bucks for ben ben's birthday cake. gone too. haiz.. never mind. now i got to wait for my dad to come back. before i have the money to buy NOTEBOOK!!! damn. the fujitsu notebook is soooo ex. guess i got to buy acer travel mate. haiz... after all, i am broke. what's more could i expect. maybe will buy notebook next week. got to buy before 7 april. geez!

Through The Rain

2006-03-22T16:32:00.000+08:00

Through The Rain

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And i know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time i feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And i live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And i know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time i feel afriad I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I can make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T FACE
AND SHOULD THEY TELL YOU YOU'LL NEVER PULL THROUGH
DON'T HESITATE, STAND UP AND SAY

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And i know that i am strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And I live once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain

this song is currently on my mind now. what happen yesterday is a past for me now. maybe this incident is a good lesson for me. i can see a person's true colour from this incident. you can say i learn alot from this. never mind. i believe i can stand up once again with some of my other besties' help. really glad that you guys are by my side no matter what. really thanks. and thanks jill and kb for the messages. thanks.

a new life

2006-03-22T02:49:00.000+08:00

from now on. a new life for me. whatever i say, people don't understand. i am really tired of all this. from now on, going to lead a life that heck care all things. as others don't understand what i say, i don't see the point of explaining. they tend to see things on only one point of view. why can't people just think many possibilities of how the person feel, done or experience? so, i am really tired. i don't care how you guys think of me now. i don't have any more breathe to explain to you guys. i have the feeling that even i explain, you guys just won't understand. maybe i never say out the details, i just don't know how to form into sentences. i am not good in words. therefore, i did ask you guys to read my blog. if you guys still don't understand how i feel and keep saying things to hurt me, fine. i don't wish to care or bother. i am tired. if that's what you guys think, never mind. i don't want to bother. full stop.

don't know what to say

2006-03-22T01:42:00.001+08:00

recently have lots of things happen. i am really depress recently. problems keep coming towards me. i don't know how to handle it at once. maybe i should handle it one by one. say the truth, i don't wish anyone to be hurt. i always hope the best for anyone of you. anyway, the feeling i am feeling now is really hard to descibe.

say the truth. after that incident happen, and wenyu chat with me on phone. some of her words do have impacts on me. she say i have change. when i went home and reflect. maybe i have change. i tend to heck care things recently. say the truth, i am very tired of everything now. i don't wish to interfere is not because i don't care. it just that i don't know what to do. and maybe i tend to keep things from you guys. i have my reason for doing that. i don't know how to say. but then really hope you guys can understand how i feel.

i feel like crying now. but i just couldn't cry out. people say cry out is better than controlling it. i know. i really lost now. i don't know what to say. so, do forgive if i got any attitude or what towards anyone of you. sorry about it.

for wenyu, chengda and eric. i do understand that you guys care for me. i know. but recently bad things keep happen and i don't know how to tell you guys. and some things i promise, i can't tell you guys. hope you guys understand. so it's not that i don't wish to tell. but i just can't say out as it is a promise. so sorry about it.

for wenyu. yup, i once told you we should say out our problems to each other. but sometimes when i really wish to say, i just don't know how to form into sentences. and recently i am really stressful now. i don't know what to do. haiz. so, sorry about it.

i am really vexed and stressful now. maybe appearance i look happy, but deep in my heart, it's not. i don't wish anyone to worry about me. i don't like it. recently, i keep hearing the word "change". sometimes i am really irriated by it. when a person say that you have change, how many can say out what actually have you change? maybe they will just reply "oh, i mean just change lor." i don't like this. if a person change, can anyone just tell them what have they change? maybe they will change to a better person? people needs comments from others. in order to change for the better. therefore, i really hope anyone of you who say that i have change, please kindly tell me what i have change? cos i really wish to change for the better. hmm. i am not saying this in a angry mode. so please do not take it to heart. thanks.

please do not act that you care for me when you actually doesn't. this really hurts when i know or feel. my hard work doesn't pay off. no matter how much hard work i put in, no one appreciate but just comments like "i don't think you put any hard work in this at all". so, i see no point of saying out. i am really tired of all this now.

anyone who read this entry, please try to understand how i feel. thanks.

dilemma

2006-03-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

i have lots of things to blog about. but i just find it hard to form into words. maybe i just try my best.

thursday incident makes me realised alot. especially to my bestie. i truthfully hope that they are okay. afterall, they experience the incident and should be more understanding of each other and treasure each other more. so, i sincerely hope they can solve their problems peacefully. i am willing to help. really.

people framing my besties and me. i hate it. i have never like others framing me. if let me find out whose the culprit, i will be really disappointed with him or her. what should i do? just let it go like this and pretend nothing happen? i can't do it.

went to have a chat with a friend of mine. talk lots of things. hope he can understand how the other party feel instead of just concerning about the so-called "victim". looks can be deciving. never judge a book by their appearance. why can't people just spend more time understanding each other? not all people are evil by nature. and i hate it when people tend to think on one point of view. i hate it. without proper analysing and tada, the conclusion. i don't like. haiz... hopefully they can self-check themselves. cos i don't see the point of wasting my breathe.

alright, enough of sad things. let's just talk about happy things. jill and candy went to my workplace today for breakfast. it's so temptating. damn. make me have a urge to have breakfast with them. sad to say, i am working. grr. never mind. tomorrow we shall have breakfast again. =) happy. really. and really hope everything is alright. i really hope so...

bloated

2006-03-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

wahaha... change my blog layout. feeling very bored. hehe. tomorrow works at 8am and here i am using computer. lolx. actually i just came back from "dinner". went dinner with chengda, manyu, hansong and kin wang. grr... their food was nice and mine? wtf. eeee... never eat teriyaki chicken ciabatta again. the worst food i ever ate. grrr... waste my $. don't know why they love to cheat my money. damn bp 7-11. cheat my $. hate the ribena there. people out there, do not buy ribena from bp 7-11. it's sucks. really.

nearly lost my apron yesterday. damn. lucky wenyu found it and pass to jasmine. hehe. but somehow when i take my apron today, i think this apron is not mine. weird. this afternoon was soooo busy. i can't even take a rest. and somehow i think my workplace is so stupid. cut cost. ha! they really cut alot of things. electricity, salary and etc. somehow i think they shouldn't cut until like that. it's so stupid. all thanks to the "wen lan". anyway, addicted to work now. money, money, money!

the ulers in my mouth hurt! grr. don't know how i got it. guess maybe i ate too much spicy food. recently, i kept eating really SPICY food. now i got to limit my laughter. i am a "rough" girl. not like those gentle girls. so whenever i laugh out, my ulers hurts like hell. shitty.

argh! many of my friends are going into different schools. wtf. i hate it. cos we gonna lost contact with each other. don't tell me we still got msn, so we still can keep in touch and what other stupid reasons. i don't believe in this. so what we have each other contacts? does it mean whenever we online, we will go click their contact and say hi? i guess not. some people just kept it for fun. i hate this. and now i understand what kianbeng has tell me. say the truth, i am afraid of losing my besties. been friends for maybe 5 years or less, and just because we in different schools, we will lost contacts with each others? somehow i wish to know how many of my besties will stay in contact with me? 1? 2? 3? or more? i don't know. but to say the truth, i hope all will stay in contact with me. especially Jill, Candy, Wenyu, Weili, Chengda, Kianbeng, Hansong, Aida, Angeline and many others. too much until 10 fingers is not enough to calculate. haiz.

alright. i got to do my things first and zzz later. later got to wake up at 6.15am. sad.

*countdown to pay day. left 5 days!*

worried

2006-03-08T01:30:00.000+08:00

postings results is out and yet i am here now worrying about my friends. especially weili, wenyu and many more. maybe some of you may think i am bullshitting here but i am not. i am serious. anyway, need any help, i will be very glad to help you guys. whoever needs help, just tell me yeah?

after i went to read her blog, i realise lots of things. in work, she may appear to be really cold, strict and etc, but in fact, she is not. she is a nice person. really. after reading her blog, you can actually understand how much pressure she is under. although i don't know her well or long, but after reading her blog, i kind of understand her feelings. anyway, i do think she will have a better job other than this job she is currently doing now. anyway, all the best to her. and also, recently, you can see that she actually become happier. maybe because her wish is coming true soon. =)

really have fun with evonne, weili and caiying today. lolx. lots of things happen. haha. especially towards evonne. haha. but glad that it ended peacefully. =) and jasmine is a hero to me. lolx. done lots of crazy things. sorry that i can't play water game with you guys cos was really having a really bad flu. damn. drank ice mocha float. nice! haha. one more thing i got to admit, caiying is pretty. really. lolx.

desperate for a shopping spree. after i got my pay... ha! i going to shopping!!! i am really happy!! and really looking forward for it. arh! forgot to mention, i got to save aside a sum of money to buy a new laptop. wahahah. as the poly i am getting in, it indicate that every student must have a laptop regardless of any courses you are in. damn, got to pay instalements for my laptop. but happy that i got my OWN laptop. maybe this is nothing to be happy about, as it is very common... but to me, i am really happy! hehehe.

sometimes i feel like deleting my blog. reason behind is because there are simply too many things that can't be written in my blog. i don't like people gossiping after what i have written in my blog. and also, i am afraid that people might mistaken that the person i write is about themselves. sigh. last 2 weeks, been in depression mode. and recently, i have just slowly recover to a happy me.

friends say i am childish. and no way i going to become mature. they never believe i will have serious talk with them. sigh. why can't people think that i have a mature thinking? sad. maybe because of my height and look. grr. i maybe appear to be childish. but inside, it's not. do believe me. action speaks louder than words.

disappointed

2006-03-01T13:03:00.000+08:00

wanted to update my blog but was lazy to do so. why? cos i was really busy working, always came home around 12+am plus the main reason, my brother is at home. therefore i can't use the comp. sad. never mind. now he's not at home. don't know where he went also.. but only can use the comp awhile till around 2+pm? cos meet weili later at 4pm. hehe.

yesterday went to watch albirex friendly match. the weather is so bloody hot. hate the weather to the core. and i wonder how can the players stand the hot weather. some wear long sleeves shirt. wah. can't believe it. but anyway, albirex won. congrats.

been having my dinner at bukit panjang this two weeks. i guess i have been to all their resturants, food courts plus fast food resturants. argh... wonder what shall i eat today... haiz.

many things happen in this 2 weeks. been in depression mode for quite some time. never mind. at least now everything is over after i question them. and glad that all of us are alright. and hope like what i say to them, please be honest with me. i don't like people to bluff me or what. and if the matter is about me, please don't let me the last to know. glad they understand.

alright. i shall go back to my mahjong game. lolx. been addicted to this game. learn quite a number of things from this game. ok. going to play. take care.

fun + shock

2006-02-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

been really, really busy recently. keep going out with the same bunch of friends and been working to real late hourse recently. especially yesterday. yup, it's valentine's day. arh.. yesterday was really, really busy. can't even stop for awhile to drink water. anyway, a fun day indeed.

MONDAY
arh. i never work today. my off day. went out with my best friends wenyu, eric and jason. lolx.. went to eric house to play mahjong. damn. i was actually winning. but sigh. they doesn't want to continue. lolx.. but never mind. anyway, it's just a game. then went town to play pool. been really mood swing after playing pool. sorry about it. but at night. wahaha. getting fun and crazy. went to eat steamboat at marina south. 12 bucks excluding drinks. i doesn't have change and thanks to eric for helping me pay 2 bucks. lolx.. been really grateful to both jason and eric. really. drink tiger beer next. god damn. i just drank a glass of beer and i was drunk! lolx. but i am not that serious until i can't even walk. i still can walk but head was really dizzy and face was really red. next acarde. lolx. eric and evonne wanted to try their luck on picking up the soft toys but fail. haha. never mind. try harder next time. =) anyway, really a great day and fun day with them. reach home really late. but never mind. =) thanks peeps.

TIGER BEER

STEAM BOAT. haha. after i am full.

foot prints. lolx. stop laughing at me when i take this pic.. damn.

"PLEASE HOLD ONTO THE RAILINGS" haha. wenyu force me to take this pic. lolx. jk.

in the lift. i find this pic really cute. lolx.

TUESDAY - happy valentine's day
yup, it's valentine's day and here i am working. it's really a busy, busy day. couples keep coming in. and i saw many romantic things happen. haha. but i was really happy. cos just by seeing all of them like that, it really makes me happy. and the bear is cute. really. i saw a guy giving her girlfriend a bouquet of "flowers". it's actually not flowers. they replace it with chocolates. oh man. it's really pretty and sweet. really. and thanks eric for giving me a valentine's day present. although it's abit... *ahem ahem* but never mind. it's the thought that counts. lolx. but say the truth, i don't eat lychee flavour. haha. but thanks. really. actually this is the worst day since year 2006 arrived. after work, went to have supper with eric and weili. lolx. went to candy's house nearby coffee shop. anyway, the 3 of us chatted alot. but i was really shocked after hearing eric's story. somehow i can't believe it. but i believe he can find a better girl with his look and character. really. good luck. and went home afterwards. damn. weili and eric got bus home and i don't have. stupid 187. went to take cab and realised i don't have enough... sigh... call my dad and he came down. grateful to him. sigh... really hate this. argh. tomorrow a better day. =)

TODAY
a working day for me too. eric is the DR. haha. he was really nice. although sometimes he was abit strict... but actually not that strict. haha. but he was really, really nice. =) and michelle too!! haha.. joke with her alot today. argh!!! hate adrain and james. actually not hate. hmm.. cos i know they are joking with me. lolx. anyway, i am not XIAO MEI alright!!! and my name doesn't ended with -s!!!! grrr.... luckily tomorrow i won't see james. lolx. jk. but both of them are nice guys. too bad girls, they are married. lolx. have dinner with weili, eric and kelvin. haha. chatted alot too.. but sad. they won't tell me their age. so sad. never mind. i will try harder tomorrow. haha. anyway, got my pay today. 300++. but i work lesser hours. but with that amount of money, i am contented. haha. not bad already. i think this month which is february, i will earn more. due to longer hours. haha. $$$. chatted alot, alot with weili. haha.. didn't know we can chat so much. we chatted for around 4 hours ++. lolx. nice chatting with her. she's a nice girl. really. tomorrow working day again. and i will be meeting her for work since she work the same time with me. haha.

alright. got to sleep early to wake up early tomorrow. =) nitez peeps.

DUCKLIN' S STORY...

in love....

third party appears! but sadly. the red one didn't manage to win the female duckin's heart.

the rest of the ducklin' gives their blessing to the newly couple!

poor third party. he can only watch by the side... THE END!

ME AND WENYU'S ART PIECES...

ducks drown on the boat. poor thing. too bad.

the rest are clever. they took small green boat to escape.

"FLOWER CANDY"!!!

i love this. this look like a clock. lolx. our master piece. =D

**all the ducklin' above is made up of candies.**

heartbroken

2006-02-11T01:24:00.000+08:00

gotten my results today. i pass and can go to poly. but somehow i don't feel happy. instead i feel sad. haiz.

i am really heartbroken now. feel like crying but can't cry out. now i think of it, i shouldn't have high hopes. it just all one sided. i regret this. really. i should give it up. totally. my heart is in pain now. after hearing what he said. i should stop disturbing him, talking to him and went out with him. i should do all this. maybe i will feel better without seeing him often and talking to him.

alright i think i should really do it. i feeling really hurt now. i shouldn't have carry on this. this is my decision. i don't wish to get hurt. this feeling is unbearable. wanted to cry out but can't. i would rather cry out than buried these in my heart and treat it as nothing happen. i can't do it. i simply just can't do it. it hurts me so much. i wanted to forget all this. but can i? how i hope there's a medicine that can let me forget all this. i knew this would never happen. i should just let the time slowly heal the wounds in my heart...

握不住的他

2006-02-07T16:22:00.000+08:00

"握不住的他". i love this song. it's really meaningful and i learn alot from this song. i don't know how to explain. but it did express what i am feeling now. and also, to my best friend, Candy. i think this song suits both of us. if i got a chance to delicate this song on radio, i would delicate this song to her. i understand how she feels now. and i hope she can cheer up. really.

when you like a person, if course you would want to see the person happy. sometimes maybe it's better to let him go. when you see the guy you like with another girl, of course you will feel jealous. but just think, you would want him to happy instead of being sad. haiz... i also don't know how to explain what i want to say in sentences. maybe let me just practise my english more often before i write anything. anyway, cheer up candy! =)

銀白色月呀映照著腳丫 　
一層層一遍遍親吻溶化
你傻真找緊視眼角
剎那我這眼淚分不清了 　

愛情不只玫瑰花　還有不安的懲罰
快樂阿誤解阿隨著時間都會增長
退潮的愛像刀疤　
傷過給一個說法放了才能夠快樂　
讓心好好休息一下
握不住的沙放下也罷

你給的說法說走到分岔
又無力又疲倦付出愛的代價
無力自拔心放不下
勉強愛的盈缺變成時差

愛情不只玫瑰花　還有不安的懲罰
快樂阿誤解阿隨著時間都會增長
退潮的愛像刀疤　傷過給一個說法
放了才能夠快樂　讓心好好休息一下
握不住的沙放下也罷

愛情不只玫瑰花　還有不安的懲罰
快樂阿誤解阿隨著時間都會增長
退潮的愛像刀疤　傷過給一個說法
放了才能夠快樂　讓心好好休息一下

放了才能夠快樂　讓心好好休息一下
握不住的沙放下也罷
握不住的他放下也罷

not my day

2006-02-06T21:08:00.000+08:00

today is just not my day. sigh. play pool keep losing. actually cannot say keep losing, but just the balls doesn't listen to me. damn. i got to buck up on pool! hmph!

went to cd's blog and saw this really cute pet. haha. went to adopt one too. anyway, it's just for fun. and thanks, cd! =)

as the day comes nearer, i am more afraid. i keep thinking the worst of it. and nothing good comes from my brain. i have been thinking and thinking and thinking. damn. just can't get a good solution. argh! anyone can help??!?!?! sigh.

went to play pool today with wenyu and weili. weili lost her phone. wtf. i hate the guy who steal her phone. idiotic. i curse him that he will fall down the stairs, bankrupt and family leaves him. i know i am evil. but i just can't stand other people stealing. i lost my phone twice. and the feelings is unbearable. but lucky her, she got a backup sim card. as for me, i don't have. damn it. i really hope that idiot will met all the things i mentioned above. sux.

i keep getting teasing by them today. argh~ oh please. don't ever say those things again. people might mistaken. i did say i miss him. because he is better than another supervisor. lolx. so don't mistaken yeah? hehe.

i want to go KBOX!!!!!! i miss the days all of us spend together in the small room singing... lolx.... haiz.. and maybe i will be getting results on friday. many people told me about it. time flies indeed. haiz. arh~ heck. i got to enjoy myself first. before the worst comes.

why

2006-02-06T02:04:00.000+08:00

been wondering for quite some time. why chief normally a guy?!!?!?!? seldom see girls as a chief. my workplace here, majority is male chiefs and only 1 female chief. i was quite surprising. =O people say women have delicate hands and they normally are the one who can cook. but why in this world, lots of the chiefs are guys? if i have a chance, i will definitly ask the male chief what interest them to become a chief? haha. XD

there's a girl in my workplace which i don't really like. i don't like the way she behave, talk and etc. the attitude towards female is so different from the attitude towards the males. i remember whenever i ask her something, she always give me the bu shuang face and reply in a don't-like-to-bother manner. wtf. and towards the males, she always seems so energentic infront of them and the voice is like.... WTF!!! somehow i wonder how her boyfriend tahan her. or is the world changing? guys like this kind of girl? they must be blind. having a girlfriend at his back flirting around with other guys. woo` unbelievable.

been listening to Zhou Chuan Xiong and kelly chen song name "zai jian bei ji xue". thanks to jill that i am able to listen to this song. love this song. and love their mv too. touching. argh! somehow i hate something. grr...

sianz. he is not around. somehow quite miss him. actually he's better than the other one. haiz. hope he come back soon. lolx. jk. =P

many people say 10 feb will be getting our results. arh~ time pass. *zooms!* and here we are getting our results. somehow unprepared. afraid of getting bad results. i guess everyone are afraid of it too. falls on the friday. afraid that i might cry regardless of having good or bad results. argh! and the next day i will be watching a movie. wahaha. what a coincidence. to celebrate that i got a good results or what? lolx. never expect that before the day is the day i got results. anyway, it's hard to imagine that i will be going back to school, walking up the stairs to the hall and line-up to get my PRECIOUS results. althought i experience it before during 'N' level... BUT THAT'S DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X( cos i got it in my vice-principle's office. wtf right? arh~ never mind. it's over anyway. anyway, good luck to myself and my friends. =)

yawn

2006-02-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

argh. i am soooo tired. XO haven't been sleeping much recently. don't know why. and valentine's day coming. was really vexed about something. grrr... =( shall see how then.

next week, all of us will be getting results next week. hmm.. that's what i heard from everyone... anyway, hope all of us can pass and get to poly. =) say the truth, i am afraid to get the results. afraid that my results will be really, really bad. sigh... hope this won't happen.

went out with bee today. play pool, his treat. watch the movie name "my kung fu sweetheart". was not really what both of us expected. should have watch "i not stupid 2" instead. wasted 9.50 bucks. damn. shall watch with him the show name "marry the mafia 2". woohoo... watch the preview already. seems not bad. gonna watch it next week. yeah! =)

now i am still thinking whether to give or not. if i give, how am i going to pass to the person? i am afraid people will gossip or what. haiz. and whether to take off or not. sigh... in a difficult position now. =( what should i do?

I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!!!!! any one free to accompany me? anytime other than my work days. i need a good shopping spree. didn't really enjoy myself during new year eve. was too rush. do tell me if anyone free. thanks. =)

alright, i am really tired now. i need a good sleep. or else, i won't be able to look good and energentic tomorrow. nitez peeps. =)

fruit juices

2006-01-29T00:17:00.000+08:00

argh! never try to make fruit juices at home when you are not sure of how to do it. got a making juices machine from my uncle. happily got it. =) but yet i try to make fruit juice today, it didn't turn out well. =( wasted 2 apples. when i drink it, i feel like puking. =X grr.. shouldn't have try it in the first place. arh!! just when i thought i can save money on fruit juices, arh~... oh well... =

was really unlucky yesterday and thursday. wanted to buy new year clothes and i can't find any nice clothes. grr! people who went out with me, arh!!! they brought lots of things. damn. and me? empty handed. =( why is this so?!?!? guess i am too fussy and can't made up my mind. argh! anyway, i am just unlucky. tomorrow will be a better day. =)

somehow i hate new year. when buying new year clothings, the shopping malls are crowded with people. gee! i hate it. especially on the bus and train. taxi, no need to say. they are always occupied. so no use waiting for taxi when they are buses for people to take.

ate the food at my workplace on thursday. *yummy* the ice cream is nice. but didn't manage to try the main course. cos stomach was not feeling really well. my friend said that fish and chip is nice. i don't know and don't even dare to try it. i don't eat fish except for stingray and kampong fish. =) was really embarassing when visiting my workplace. arh. don't wish to say anymore. teehee. =P only my friend who went with me, knew the best part. LOLX. XD

my 'evil plot' fails. damn. 'thanks' to the tics. hmph! X(

anyway, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! =)

N7370

2006-01-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

darn it! i love N7370! it's sooooo pretty!!!! and the price is nice too. 800+ bucks without plan. broke. wanted to change. but it's soooo damn expensive! =( it's L'Amour Collection. hope the price drop. so that i can afford to buy. wahaha.. or even better, someone buy it for me. let me just pray hard to the god that my mum strike 4D first prize. teehee. XD

N7370. i took the pic from my handphone.

cny is coming soon. but somehow i am not prepared. and valentine's day coming soon too. argh. single. lonely. never mind. there's still friends who are single around me. =) and let's just make this day as a 'FRIENDSHIP' 's day yeah? ahah. depsite being single, but we are still as happy as ever. =) wahaha. and gonna be a 'santa claus' this time. going to give chocolates to my close friends and colleagues. again, is a chocolate flower. haha. i name it. sigh... last year i gave the same thing to my friends. and this year is still the same. sigh.. hope you guys don't mind. =) anyone mind, do tell me. thanks. =) and i am giving to that special someone too. woohoo` XD

Crush

2006-01-25T12:43:00.000+08:00

recently i have a crush on someone. but it's just a very, very small crush. maybe i just appreciate him. he's a good guy. which appears so. haha. anyway, i am not that very, very like him. so don't mistaken yeah? haha. anyway, he do have bad point. this bad point makes me really irritated. =( hopefully he change it asap. =)

today i will be working. from 6pm to 10pm. as a host. arh holy shit! i don't know how to be a host. i am a bad host. sigh. hopefully everything turn out well. =)

fun, fun, fun

2006-01-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

really enjoy myself today. went to watch albirex training for awhile, and *zooms!* it's POOL's time! XD we book 2 pool tables and we play for around 2 hours plus. was with wenyu, chengda, kelvin and eric. and damn! i keep losing to them. first few rounds, i win but in the end, sad to say, i lose. hehe. anyway, not a bad experience. =) arh!! never play pool in jurong east after 6pm. expensive to me. haiz.

never did i buy any new clothes. saded. say the truth, i look around and don't think there's any nice clothings around. never mind, at least i save some money. teehee. tomorrow working from 12pm to 4pm. arh, not prepared yet. don't know why. tonight i got to sleep early or else i will never be able to wake up and work.

anyway, HAPPY LATE 18TH BIRTHDAY to CANDY! sorry yeah? as you know, i am quite lazy to update. anyway, really have fun with the girls. took some pics and neoprints. ate at breeks. =)

alright, i am really tired now. it's sleeping time for me. arh wait! i got to watch the tv first. shall sleep later around 2+am. =) take care peeps. =D

depress

2006-01-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

was really busy recently. not because of work. but some other things. cny is coming soon and yet i havent brought any thing for cny. guess this year cny will not be really fun for me.

was really depress today. i went shopping with my aunt. just trying my best to cheer myself up but, it doesn't work. after hearing some things from my friend, i started to think alot of things and get depress. sometimes i try to find my best friends to chat with, but i am afriad. i am scare that they will think that i am very irritating. i wonder are we still best friends? relationships drifted apart.

i am not a demanding or greedy person. all i wanted is that, i wanted to hear some of your news like how have you been doing and etc. that's all i wanted. but that never happen. i always get news from others. i feel that i am no longer best friend in your heart. i am just a passer-by who just sometimes stop by. i am really, really sad now. it's hard to describe this feeling. i really don't know what to do. somehow i hope this thing doesn't happen or exist.

romance

2006-01-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

recently, i have been watching romance drama and movie. sometimes i don't understand something. the way the guy show in the show doesn't happen in the reality. it's not logical at all. if the show does happen in reality, then it will be better doesn't it? at least it won't make people dreaming how good their future partner will be or how will they encounter with their future partner. anyway, that's just what i think.

and also, i have been chatting with wenyu about this kind of thingy. somehow i wish that someone will be by my side. arh~ that's just my thinking. anyway, i am not desperate. it just that sometimes i wish that someone will be by my side whenever i am sad, have joy to share with and etc. anyway, all this excluding my friends. i can't compare the special person to my friends. but of course, friends company can be fun too. =)

how i wish i can meet that special person of my dream. i know that it's hard to get to know a good guy. to me, good guy majority have been 'occupied'. haha. all the while, i know that it will be real difficult to meet a good guy. i does not have any good things to attract them. no matter what, there is still lots of girls better than me. in terms of looks, figure, character. now i tend to look at the brighter side. if i got a choice to chose, i hope to meet a good guy. if don't have, maybe i just let it go by fate. i am not that kind of person who believes in fate. but sometimes i got to admit it. anyway, good luck to me. =) and people who are waiting.

arh. girls' outing today. ate HAWAILIAN pizza at pizza hut today. lolx. plus ribena and garlic bread. *yummy!* anyway, really enjoy ourselves today. took some lolx pictures. haha.

met some problem at work today. don't intend to talk about it. nearly cried but i controlled it. somehow i think its alright. if i don't meet any problem at work, something is really werid. anyway, it's over. i have forget about it. never mind. =)

CONGRATS JILL!GONG XI NI KANG FU LE!!! =)

new layout!

2006-01-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

hehe... my new layout. recently addicted to animations. hehe. actually i never intend to change but just now candy said that she wanted to change her layout making me abit wanted to change too. and here i am, changing my layout. hehe. =P

recently i dreamt of lots of things. lots of weird dreams. mostly i dream of people's death. weird huh. but never mind, it never did come true. =)

been working and working hard. making me freaking tired. but somehow i think is worth it. making me learning something new is not a bad thing. depsite it's tiring working down there. and also, sometimes the business is really that bad, but i did make some friends and learn new things.

arh! my english is getting worse and worse. recently i cant speak english well. wtf. what is happening to me? argh! got to improve my english.

i watch a japanese drama and there's a sentence saying "there's a purpose in every new life born, so what's the purpose in each of us?" after hearing this sentence, i started to wonder what's the purpose of me being born into this world? a good question huh. never mind. i guess this purpose we must find our own then we will know. =)

arh arh!!! ribena's on offer! buy 2 get 1 free! not a bad thing huh. rich in vitamin c. essential for human body. lolx. must buy! haha.. now i sound like a promoter for ribena huh. alright just kidding. but anyway, do buy when this offer still stands.

okay, i am tired and bored. maybe i am going out alone to walk around. and brother at home. came home suddenly. shocked. alright, take care people. back to my naruto. =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2006-01-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! *happy happy~*

woohoo` never expect the year 2005 to pass so fast. zooms! and here's 2006! =) and what a day. was thinking of enjoy my day tomorrow. the person call and ask me to work tomorrow. sigh.. but never mind. at least i work and got $$$. teehee.

sometimes i think back, year 2005 is quite alright to me. i don't know how to explain. but overall, it's quite not bad. anyway, thanks to everything. =)

Crying out love, in the center of the world

2005-12-28T03:53:00.000+08:00

just watch the drama and the movie of "crying out love, in the center of the world". it's really a touching story. i can't help shedding tears. and the love that saku and aki have, was really touching, and long lasting too. despite aki died in the end due to incurable illness, but saku still deeply in love with her regardless of her illness.

sometimes i wonder, will a guy still love a girl with incurable illness? will the guy leave her when he heard that his lover have a incurable illness? i am not sure. i have never heard of any guys who will continue liking and love the girl. and does long lasting love exist? in this show, it does. but in real life? i doubt so. times change. so do people change. will any one of you out there find such a devoting guy? somehow i hope to meet such a guy. which i know it will only happen in fairy tale.

i guess fairy tale will never come true...

this sickness is KILLING me !!!

2005-12-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

damn it. i fall sick. HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!?!?!?! haiz. making me can't sleep for almost 1 week. having sleepless nights. idiotic. stupid flu. stupid sorethroat. stupid fever. wtf. i can't stand this. it's a MUST to see doctor tomorrow. =(

was supposed to work today. and the manager gave us a lame excuse. "oh, we don't have any extra uniforms. maybe you can come tomorrow?" wtf right? she's the one who ask us to come and yet, gave us this stupid excuses. and she is really very disorganised and irresponsible. since she knows that they don't have any extra uniforms, why can't they just give us a simple call to ask us to come another day or what? waste our efforts and money. damn it. what an irresponsible manager. i wonder how she manage to become a manager? by boot-licking? ha! maybe. anyway, i am just very pissed off with what she did. and this makes me really gulity that i have wasted my best friend's time there. my friend was already very pissed off and the manager make it worse. damn it.

anyway, this year christmas is the worst for me. i don't know how to say. but it's was really disappointing. never mind. what's over is already over. i can't do anything anyway. i just looking forward for next year christmas, birthday, new year and many more. since this year is an unlucky year for me, i shall change it better when it is year 2006. =) yes, i am going to do it. CHANGE TO A BETTER PERSON !!!! do support me. lolx. XD

anyway, thanks for the christmas present, bee ! i really like it. thanks. but hope you like what i gave you too. sorry that i keep giving WEIRD presents.... hehe... but hope you like it.

okay, got to go back to my beauty sleep. i will get well ! hehe. *hopefully* take care everyone. do not fall sick like me. anyway, a late MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY ADVANCE NEW YEAR!!! XD

Unforgetable prom night 2005

2005-12-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

back from prom night! it's was really, really fun. i swear. =) and it was unforgetable. despite i was not so hyper as others, but i still do enjoy it. end of the prom night, quite a number of people cried. my bestie, Jill, cried too. but i knew she was strong. sometimes i think i might lost contact of some friends, but, after tonight, despite it's the last night some of us gather together, i feel strongly that we will still remain contact.

for Jill, thanks for the last five years. really. =) i enjoy the fun whenever with you. maybe sometimes i didn't contact you, but in my heart, i still remember you. really. sometimes i was busy with some stuff, therefore didn't have time to chat with you. but believe me, i really cherish the friendship we had together. really. i swear. let's be friends for as long as we can, okay? =) i knew you are strong. do continue to stay strong !!! XD and let's contact often. =)

for wenyu, thanks too!! for being my friend. =) sorry that sometimes i might have some attitude, but i am not on purpose. sometimes i really have bad mood. do forgive me. and i really cherished the friendship. sorry that when you go shopping with me, i might be abit noisy or what. but that's me!!! a real me! =) anyway, did you forget our friendship day? haha. i still remember. and i did note it down in my handphone. haha. thanks for being there for me. =)

for hanisah, i don't know whether you will come across my blog, but i really want to say something. THANKS FOR 'QUARRELLING' WITH ME!!! XD haha. since the day i know you, we have been 'quarrelling'. lolx. i really enjoy 'quarrelling' with you. maybe the time i know you was short, but i really treat you as one of my best friend. let's keep 'quarrelling' okay? XD

for chengda and kianbeng. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! despite i only know you guys for only one year or less? but we have already become best friends. =) haha. miss the days which we do our art together and talking about *ahem ahem*. you guys should know. =) i know i won't be very often to see you guys, but we must keep in contact okay? i don't wish to lose such friends like you guys. you guys have been treating me quite 'good'. haha. thanks for the days. =)

for cheryl, rahman, juliazah, hansong, yude, jianjun, shahira, taufik, teck huat, zhi hong, ben teo, jian rong, yi kai, kennard, cheefeng, ellson, jia qi, ruiyi, jia yan, ziying, simeng and all the other classmates in secondary 5. thanks! maybe i didn't talk to you guys much. but we are still friends. and i hope you guys can stay happy always and stay in contact. =) thanks for the 3 years. =)

haha... all the messages above are for all my friends. lolx. maybe i am getting emotional. lolx. but i really wanted to have a proper thanks to you guys. maybe i was shy and therefore i didn't say out. but deep in my heart, thanks. thanks for days. never regret to have know you guys. really. =)

lolx. both hanisah and me saw 2 not bad looking guys. haha. the singer and the waiter. lolx. when we are in julaizah's dad's car, both of us keep talking about the two guys. lolx. alright, alright, i know i am nuts. hehe. anyway, it's normal for girls to look at guys. haha.

thanks to the guys and wenyu. i drank 3-4 BIG GLASSES OF WATER. not only plain water. i drank 1 glass of cold plain water, 1 glass of PURE COKE, 1 glass of coke plus water and 1 glass of coke plus orange i think. damn. making me freaking full now. and keep going toilet. roar. all this thanks to hansong. never mind, i got my revenge. wahaha. alright, i am just kidding. but i do enjoy this. lolx. =) thanks for everything.

lastly, but not least. thanks to everyone for the past 5 years. really. and thanks to candy and friend. thanks for helping me make up. i do really appreciate it. =) FINALLY ! THANKS AGAIN.

Prom Night

2005-12-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

alright. i am going prom night. brought the ticket and the dress just now. thanks to wenyu. she accompany me walk round orchard just to get that dress. arh. heart pain. because this is the first time i wear sleeveless. and this is the first time i brought such an expensive, 'high class' and mature dress. grr... somehow i felt that HOW CAN I CHANGE FROM A CHILDISH PERSON TO A MATURE LADY??!!?!??!!?! i myself can't believe it. sigh.. hopefully that night turn out well.... hopefully...

i went interview last week. haha... wenyu and i went to the arcade and went to play the picking up teddy bears game. she spent 2 bucks and tada, she got the bear. haha. i was with her. then we keep observing the machine and finally, we got it!!! not bad arh.

lolx... my mum ask me not to buy the dress over the phone... but i insist. because i am tired of finding. and when i let my mum see, she was kind of speechless. and even hint me that she also can wear. haha. not bad. like wenyu like that. both daughter and mother can wear. lolx...

sigh. say the truth, i am kind of scare. as this is the 1st time i wear like this. i feel kind of uncomfortable. really. pray hard that this feeling will go away..

arh!!! tomorrow is another shopping spree for me!!! going to bugis!!!!!!!!~ i buying the mickey mouse shirt. having offers now!! must buy. lolx. and also, i got to buy bag, maybe necklace and earrings and a semi-jacket. arh!!! anyone have shoes that match with my dress? please lend me. i need it. i don't wish to buy. because i will only wear once and no more... thanks to whoever lending me. =)

alright, this is my dress.

and this is the doll we got~

goodbye levis, hello brandless

2005-12-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

alright. i gonna work soon. by next monday. actually, i think this is best for me. i hate staying at home without doing anything. recently i keep slacking at home, sleep and etc. what a boring life for me. finally!!! there's work for me to do!!! =D

went to shopping just now. mum say don't buy levis jeans. buy another type of jeans instead. she brought me to my aunt there and brought some jeans. damn. i hate jeans. really. it makes me so SUPERLY UNCOMFORTABLE! guess i am not that type who is WILLINGLY to wear jeans. maybe because i am short and i HATE MY THIGH! grr. i have a big thigh. *i admit, as no one can be PERFECT* intend to slim my thigh. watch newspaper and scientist say that women or men should not really go and slim down your thigh or what. it will increase the risk of having heart attack! arh!!!! i don't want to die so soon. =(

mum brought quite a lot of PERSONAL things for me. thanks! somehow today i feel so proud of my mum. really. and it makes me love her more! I LOVE YOU, MUM! =)

saw some shocking news. hopefully this won't happen. and i am really afraid of that. really.

watching NARUTO recently! woo! NICE SHOW!!!! addicted watching it. willing to "abandoned" my PS2 games. wahaha. just kidding. =P after finish watching, i will continue my PS2 games. hehe. alright. i going back to watch NARUTO. see ya guys! =)

i got a JOB !

2005-12-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

yup, gotten a job today. starts on next monday. suppose to be tomorrow. but i don't want. reason because i got to go out on sunday with the girls. =) and they say they won't let me take off on friday, saturday and sunday. damn it. haiz. no choice, i got no $. the only way to get $ is not to rob but to earn. =)

yeah! i have completed the game "Shadows hearts II". the time i spend to complete is less than 1 week. wah! actually, i feel so proud. haha. alright, now it's time to find another RPG game to play. gonna search through the ps2 games later. hopefully i find something good. anyway, I WILL TRY THE "STAR OCEAN' DISC 2 AGAIN! this time, it better not JAM again! damn.

argh! having stomachache recently. grr.... i hate this feeling. simply sucks. hopefully it will go off in this few days. better before SUNDAY! >.<

i want to buy that skirt !!!

2005-12-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like that skirt i saw today. arh. the price is nice too. 74 or 76 bucks. =O I MUST BUY. gonna save money to buy it. yes, i will do it. but hope that when the time i buy, it better be there and not SOLD OUT or not available.

wah... saw lots of things in town today. and thanks to Jill that she accompany me to look around. alright. here's what i am going to buy...

1) SKIRT *it's a MUST!* - $74 -$76

2) shorts (saw today at fareast) - $33 - $34

3) tie (haha. actually about this, i think twice first) - $6.90

4) shoes (don't whether to buy or DIY) - not sure about the price.

5) clothes (still must went around and see again) - depends how many shirts i going to buy.

6) Levis 593 (i guess this must wait for quite some time...) - $100

alright, that's all. arh! the price of this things really nice huh. =P i guess i must work DOUBLY hard to buy. =( so, i guess this sunday i shall buy the shorts first, maybe shoes, clothes? after that, save, save, save. buy the skirt first. then again save, save, save, buy the levis 593. haha. then i will be a happy girl. lolx! XDDD

sigh... my mum ask me not to go to prom night. she ask me to save that money to buy clothings instead. arh... i don't know what to do.. can someone please guide me? should i or not?

window shopping

2005-12-05T11:51:00.000+08:00

back! hehe. recently been playing RPG games. can say that i am really bored to death at home. =P anyway, i guess i gonna work soon. nahz. not going to say at where or as what. some of my friends might know. *hint*

yeah!! going to shop today. but Jill and i not going ot buy anything today. just purely window shopping. we going to joint down what we going to buy and then sunday, Candy, Jill, Aida and i will be going shopping again!!! haha. not bad huh. XD

yikes. i watch a show on saturday and makes me feel like puking. it's about plastic surgery. now then i know that when a person going for plastic surgery to slim down or what, the doctor will just cut the piece of the flesh on the person's body and sewed back. arhhh!!!! to me, this look like a pork. really. when i see this image, i feel so disgusted. yikes!

alright, i got to go now. meeting Jill later for window shopping. =)

shopping spree ~

2005-11-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

arh! happy day today. went shopping with Jill, Candy and Aida. woo~ brought 3 things. belt, voodoo doll and a pouch for my nano. =) i wanted to buy giodano brown shirt today but saded. didn't have the size i want. all the giodano shops only have S size. damn it. a unlucky day.

and also, i wanted to buy nail polish. i wanted to do my own manicure. damn. can't find the shop i want. arh!! i wanted to buy the bead necklace and a semi-jacket and levis jeans. roar. haiz. anyway, a unlucky day but a happy day went out with Jill, Candy and Aida. as it's been a long time since we last met. =)

bee went hong kong yesterday. haha. been pestering him to help me buy things. lolx. ask him to buy a bag from disney land. somemore, he give me the bag as a christmas present. woo!! *happy* and ask him to buy some nice and simple necklace for me. and a superhero pencil box for my dearie nephew who is going primary one next year. =)

alright. i got to go and play my ps2 game. STAR OCEAN! woo! nice game huh. alright, take care peeps. let's go shopping in two weeks' time. =)

1 last paper

2005-11-22T10:56:00.000+08:00

arh. finally. 1 last paper. in fact, i haven't study yet. i have no mood recently. keep sleeping and going out. anyway, hope that i can do my mcq today. =)

went to imm yesterday. i brought 2 pairs of earrings. woo!!! *happy* somemore, it's cheap! lolx. met candy on the way. haha... actually got to thank her for helping me chose. =) went to kfc and she ate taco bell's food whereas i eat kfc food. lolx. anyway, yesterday was my first time eating taco bell's food. woo. actually quite nice. =) next, she went to my house because of some reasons. hehe. anyway, thanks for helping me. =)

argh! having a real backache yesterday. can't bent. damn. it's really painful!!! =( guess i am getting old. just like the old lady in howls' moving castle. =( having a bad flu too. grrr. it's really cold this two days and yet i still switch in my fan. grin.

saded. yesterday i brought ice-cream and my brother ate one of them which i specially buy it for myself. saded. =(

found a job but i have not submit the form yet. will be working with Jill. =) arh, not going to say where is the place. hehe. but then, hope that both of us can get through. =) anyway, Jill. let's go shopping on saturday okay? =) i got to buy lot's of things. wahahhaa. XDDD

alright, i got to go and do other stuffs now. hehe. anyway, the show 'NANA' is nice. really. touching. =)

Howl's Moving Castle

2005-11-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

watch howl's moving castle just now. it's was a great animation. say the truth, i simply love the show of spirited away and howl's moving castle. this two show really touched my heart. really. till now, i still can't forget the story of this two animations. somehow, after watching, i feel like crying. it is really touching. i don't mind watching this two animation over and over again.

in howl's moving castle, i like howl and sofia. i like the ending, how sofia trying to save howl and how howl trying his best to protect sofia. sometimes i wonder will i met a guy like howl? haha. i guess i will fall in love with him if i really met him. but i guess i will never met. =)

i love the music too. it's really smooth and touching. arh... i am looking forward this director next movie. i will definitly watch. i really likes these show. guess i will watch it again after my 'O's.

say the truth, i feel angry and sad this two days. i don't like the feelings of getting empty promises. it really hurts. but never mind, that's already over. maybe i am numb to it. cos i have been getting empty promises all this while. sigh.

in the past, i believe in 'friends forever', but now no. due to what happen recently. in fact, i am disappointed and sad. things which happened recently really makes me lose faith and trust in some of them. people go for new friends, yup, i agree. but i don't like some of my friends who treated me just like some toy or what. when they have new toy, they just throw the old toy away. sigh... i guess no one will understand that. never mind. i just need some time to think and calm down.

6 more days to go !!

2005-11-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

arh ! 6 more days and i am FREE !!! finally! bid goodbye to my school which i have never like in the first place. lolx. anyway, i am a happy girl now. =)

damn. hate the amaths paper 1. when i look at the questions, i know how to do but i forgot the steps and etc. reason behind is that I DIDN'T TOUCH OR STUDY AMATHS AT ALL ! wtf. i stay up whole night to finish my art process diary. they better give me a good grade for art or else... grr. tomorrow is amaths paper 2. hopefully the standard is same as paper 1. just pray hard it is. and the geo too, sigh. chose the questions which i didn't study. i study agriculture and developments. but in the end, i chose the questions on manufacturing and tourism. i guess something wrong with me. anyway, i spend only 30 minutes studying geo. guess i will get good grades for humanities. oh well...

mum found a job for me. but she not sure about the detail. working in a jewellery shop. i ask her to help me ask whether 2 persons can work in that shop. so, who wanna work with me?!?!? do message me. hehe. =)

don't know why, i love seeing couples together. it's sooooooooooo SWEET seeing a pair of loving couples together. like the couple i saw today. they are shahira and taufik. and things which shahira told me. i was like wah ! i really feel so happy for them. really. it's really sweet seeing them together. despite there is some quarrels sometimes, but in the end, they are still happily together. really, really envy them. haha. XD

alright, back to study amaths. i must at least get a B3 for amaths. despite i hope for a A1 due to ... sigh. never mind. a B is better than nothing. so, update next time. =)

exams going to finish soon !!!!

2005-11-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

exams going to finish soon~ 4 more papers to go. yup. will continue to do my best! =)

argh... so late le yet i am here online. chatting nonsense with manyu. haha. just kidding. actually i am doing my art now. but i am super tired now. have been drawing for around 10 hours +. woo~ and my eyes really hurt now. both eyes. must really get a rest and no sleep for tomorrow!!! hopefully.

got my ipod nano~ woohoO~ *happy* 4GB... can't use finish at all. damn. not even 1GB is filled. grr.. never mind. after 'o's, i will figure out this nano thingy. hehe. =P

hmm... actually he has a email. yet i was bluff by him. i have long get over it. sometimes i wonder am i angry that he didn't give it to me last year or whatever? haha. now i can confirm that i am not ANGRY or what. i really, really get over it. suddenly, i realise something. he and him is not my everything. i have something much more important to accomplish. that is, finish my 'O's!!! and hopefully get into poly and the course which i like. =)

arh~ exams period is going to over soon. whoa... actually, it's really fast. it's hard to imagine time flies so fast. and i am going to work soon. i promise my mum to work after 'O's. got to earn money... economy not that good.

arh... i can't finish 10 pages of my process diary. damn !!! =( i guess not even half is completed. grr... alright, i shall cut now to 6 or 7? hehe. a busy day tomorrow for me. got to study amaths too. hopefully the amaths exam is not that hard huh. i hate hard exams. hehe... guess everyone hate it too. lolx.

alright. i shall go sleep now. i am really tired now. tomorrow will be a busy day. have to take a good rest... shall update next time. nitez!~ XD

bad mood

2005-11-05T19:01:00.000+08:00

yup having a REAL bad mood today. not in the morning but in the afternoon. bad things keep happening. just don't understand why my mum have to do this. damn it. i am really pissed off. how i hope i am not at home the whole day. and there is alot of REASONS why i hate staying at home.

home sweet home, what a bullshit. it is definitly not a sweet thing to me. argh!!! i am freaking pissed off now. grr.

tomorrow i will definitly go out. and not stay at home. i doesn't want to see any stupid attitude infront of me. i hate it.

sorry jill about today take photos thingy. have my own reasons for not wanting to take any pics this year. sorry about it.

things coming to my mind

2005-11-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

have been going through alot of thinking recently. about my present, future and blah blah blah. watch vcd in the morning and study in the afternoon. super tired. =(

the vcds i watch today really makes me think quite alot. the show is talking about life, love and friends. haha. talk about the show to angeline. i would really want to tell her more about this!! alright. i am naggy. never mind. but i really like this show!!! hehe.

sometimes i really wonder why parents quarrel?!?!? if they doesn't like to be with each other, why in the first place be together? and they doesn't understand how the kid feel when they quarrel. maybe they want to help. but, they don't know how to or are afraid of getting scolded and etc. yup. i am that kid. when my parents quarrel, i wanted to calm both of them down but i am afraid. but that's in the past. now, i am numb to all this. cos i doesn't like to be involved in this arguement. and in future, i am not going to married to a guy who will quarrel with me after marriage. never. i hate all this. just can't understand. arh. this is adult's affair. not going to bother.

exams getting near. haven't study alot yet. argh. must try to finish as much as i can in this week.

albirex are going back. not going to cry or get upset. learnt my lesson last year. actually i have let go of all this. i am not crazy over albirex anymore. much things happen this year. totally different from last year. some of you might know, some of you might not. anyway, just want to wish them good luck in everything they do and take care. =)

i am a happy girl on wednesday. lolx. unforgettable memories. sweet memories. thanks. =)

HAPPY DEEPAVALI !!!!

2005-11-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

yup. today is deepavali... 1st november. no schooling for everyone. hehe.

arh. i did promise not to come online. but sigh... because of certain reason, i got to be online. haiz. anyway, i just watch the movie 'drink drank dunk'. it's a really nice show!!! i nearly cried. because of some sad part and touching part. and really make me think of something. hehe. maybe some of you go and watch and you guys will know. =)

finally!!!! some of the chemistry concept can get into my head. woohooo!! i am so happy. now i am so enthu in studying. lolx. *happy*

today i must find someone to go out and study. die, die also must go out and study. *hopefully*
*yawn* i am tired. grr... never mind. shall take a rest first. later then study. hehe.

not going to be online.... =(

2005-10-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

yup, i am NOT going to online till my 'O's finishes. hehe. cos i got to study during this short period. and yup, i GOING TO PASS MY 'O's !!!! wahahahhahahaha!!! XDDD [not bad huh. have this kind of determination.]

will not be able to see NIGHTMARE again. i have a smile on my face. but.. i don't know whether to be happy or sad in my heart. anyway. this is a truth. a truth that can never be change. never mind. i have expected it.

tomorrow, some of my friends are going for their chinese exam. GOOD LUCK !!!!! ALL THE BEST TO YOU ALL !!! =)

i wanted to go to DAVID TAO's concert!!! hehe... i have long wanted to watch my favourite's live concert. hehe. but tickets expensive. grr... how i hope my dad is bill gates. lolx. i am just kidding. =P

yesterday went out with bee. lolx. study awhile and we went to walk around. saw lots of interesting things. HALLOWEEN coming!!! haha. went to take pic of bee wearing the mask. lolx. and the yoshinoya's drinking cups is soooo cute!!! haha... took a pic of it and the girl beside us thought i want to take his bf's pic. eeeee. oh please. why would i want to take his pic. yucks. thought of it make me sick. =(

anyway, these are the pictures. =P

Yoshinoya logo...

the drinking cups!!! NICE!!! and CUTE!!!

the SCREAM !!!! haha. fear not. it's bee. haha. he only act as one. lolx.

really, really have lots of fun yesterday. lolx.

ok. i got to stop my slacking here now. have to go back to study. hehe. so shall update when 'O's finishes!! once again... GOOD LUCK FOR EVERYONE WHO ARE TAKING 'O's !!!! APPLIED TO ME TOO !!! *grin grin*

tired, sleepy !!!

2005-10-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

again. studying day. went to library. but only a while. ended up chatting. arh! my fault. me TALKATIVE. XD sorry peeps. making you guys can't study much.

next, albi training!!! went to watch it with JilL. and then, *yummy!* ALBI FOOD !!!! nice nice!!! *thumbs up!* but super full. X( time really flies. today was so-called their last training. tomorrow, their last match. and will be watching it with JilL. sigh. last match. sad. =( some players leaving and some stay. don't who will be staying and who will be leaving. arh, next year we will know. sigh. =( hopefully *ahem ahem* don't come back. pray hard. nightmare. *eeeee*

guess i am having fever. grrr. face was really hot today. arh! i hate this. guess i must have a good night sleep today. plus the raining really makes the night a good sleep for me. *grin*

to JilL... hmm... sorry i am not able or good at comforting... i am sorry that i am not been able to help you or give you any useful advice. but i really hope you can cheer up. after all these, everything will be fine. do cheer up. =)

to candy... sorry for not able to chat with you much today. really sorry. was not feeling well today. sick.

okay. that's all for today. do take care peeps. don't ended up like me, sick. good night!!! *zzz*

the speed getting faster!!!! XD

2005-10-27T10:02:00.000+08:00

woohoo~ the singnet guy came to my house and install the internet thingy and my internet speed getting faster!!!! XDD now it is 3TIMES faster than my original!!! woo~!!! unbelieveable!!! lolx...

sigh... the ipod nano can only take on 7November... grr!!! =( somemore it's my first day of exam!!! arhh!!! how can this be?!?!?!?! damn it. haiz... anyway, hope i can pass with good grades huh. hehe. wish me good luck. =)

later going to the library again. hehe. this time i stop doing my art first. i do my e-maths and social studies first. eh? i think better not. i think i study sciences first. cos my science really can bang wall. =( sigh... my social studies too.. hm... must make a good plan later. hehe.

wahahha!! so funny!!!

2005-10-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

lolx!!! just now when i reach home and watch the show name zhong yi da ge da... wahahhahahaha~~~~ it's soooooo funny!!!! stanley's elder brother is soooo damn funny... he teaches the way of how to protect yourself against ghost. lolx... maybe any one of you are free, can come and ask me. i will demo to you. hahahahhahaha...

went to library and do my art the whole day. wah!!!! the art paper is soooooooo damn HARD!!!! i really have a headache when i read the questions. grr.... in the end... i spend the whole day drawing two pictures. both big and complicated pictures!!!! luckily... it is nice. if not nice... then meaning i wasted my time drawing. grr...

tomorrow is library day again. hehehehe... decided to stay in the library from 10am to 9pm. lolx!!! i really can do it. trust me. =) and i definitly can snatch the BEAD BAGS!!! wahahaha... *evil grin*

i want to watch the movie 'NANA' !!!!

2005-10-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

arh~~~ i wanted to watch the movie NANA !!! have been waiting for soooo long. grr... not in singapore. damn. when will it be? roar!!!! =(

woo~ Little by Little song name Kanashimi mo yasashisa ni, NICE!!!! lolx. addicted to this song. i guess i will addicted to this song for quite some time. recently, i am addicted to NANA's song now Little by Little. hehe... wonder which singer will be the next?!?!?! *grin*

alright!!! it's study time now. this time i must study like hell till 'O's finishes!!! yup!! i got to do that. like what bee say, i mustn't let the people around me down. i must get good grades!!!! yup! Have to do that now !!! okay then. got to study now. hehe. XDD

Sorry Candy... about today. =( i have my reasons. sorry.

TIRED ~ XOoOoOooOooo

2005-10-23T23:57:00.000+08:00

just a few days studying and i am tired already. pretty useless right? *nod, nod* sigh. never mind. guess i am just not use to it. *sob*

tomorrow having amaths mock exam. study abit. haiz. guess i will fail. grr... never mind. as long as my 'O's can pass, i don't mind failing that. *evil grin*

yeah!!! signing up for the 1.5mpbs internet speed !!! woohoo~ getting it on thursday. PLUS!!!! a free iPOD NANO 4GB!! yeah~ that's what i really wanted. a new mp3!! as my old one is already spoilt. *sigh* hehe... and my internet speed will be faster than what i have now. 3 TIMES FASTER !!! XDDD no one will be able to understand the joy in my heart now. lolx!!! =PpPPpPp

woo~ BEE COMING BACK LATER !!! WELCOME BACK, BUDDY!!! lolx. did you enjoy yourself in BRUNEI? hehe... anyway, message ya later. *grin*

okay. now i shall back to my gaming. hehe... ZUMA !!! lolx. shall update later. =)

PS: Candy!!! i want to see your new hair !! *excited*

GRADUATION !!

2005-10-21T17:53:00.000+08:00

I AM A GRADUATE STUDENT NOW !!! HOORAY TO ME AND OF COURSE, MY DEAREST FRIENDS !!! XDDDD

haha.... was having lots and lots of fun today. really. i really, really enjoy myself today. we are just like a mad women. haha. hehe... i think both class 5A and 5B are mad today!!! haha... anyway, really cherish the time we have today. took lots of pictures... especially *tooT!* hhee... guess some of you might know. anyway, THANKS to KIANBENG... *ahem ahem* you should know what happen. haiz.. despite i look angry and etc... but in my heart, it's soooooooooo SWEET!!!! wahahahaha.... XDDD *shall post up the pictures when i got the pictures*

arh... now to think of it... i am quite sad and worried... sad that my friends and i are getting separated soon and etc... i miss the teachers and friends... BUT NOT THE SCHOOL ~ okay lah... anyway, got to thank the school as it is a place which make me know all this friends. =) i miss the teachers!! especially MS LEE, MS WONG *lolx*, MR LEE and of course, *ahem ahem*.... hehe... sigh... after this year, many of us will go separate ways... sigh... miss those days... really... i want to stay contact with you all!!!! haiz.. but really afraid... haiz.. anyway, hope that it won't happen. yup, got to cheer up.

okay, i got to go bathe now... hey guys!!! GOOD LUCK FOR THE 'O's!!!! let's work hard and get to the POLY we want!!!! ALL THE BEST !!! XDD

it's sooooo comfortable!!!!

2005-10-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

woo~~~ after sleep for around 12 hours ++, i feel so great!!!! hehehe... plus the nice weather! woohoo~~~ now it's going to rain. hhee... maybe i should go and sleep? lolx. can't, GOT TO STUDY!!! *sounds funny huh? i will study?!?!?!*

tonight i am going back to school. for night class. actually i just going there to study for tomorrow practical exam. hopefully i pass... ya, hopefully.

DAVID TAO!!!!!! grr~~~~ i addicted to his songs now!!! especially the song name TIAN TIAN!!! it's soooooooooooooooo NICE!!!! can't help it. simply love this song. as the lyrics is soooo meaningful!!! and also, it really express things which is on my mind now. hehe... ya, i know it's quite an old song... but some old song do rocks sometimes yeah? hehe.

next monday, BEE COMING BACK!!!! HoRRAY!!! XDDD can't wait to see him. feel quite loss without him around. haiz.. finally!!! he is coming back. i guess we will have alot to talk huh... hehe... XDDD

can't eat well recently. feel like vomiting.. hey, hey... i am not having that okay... and went to toilet very frequently. damn... guess i have ate something wrong. sigh... guess it will be over soon.

went to watch albirex match yesterday. they won. woo~ not bad huh. XD anyway, congrats. =)

*yawn* grrr... getting tired... haiz.. why does i always get so tired?? damn... got to have my BEAUTY sleep!!! lolx.... shall update when free. wish me good luck for my pratical tomorrow!!!! hehe... and of course, good luck to all those having pratical tomorrow!! XD

it's over!!!

2005-10-18T08:53:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!! it's OVER!!! yuppie!!!!! XDDD

yesterday was the submission day for art. woohoo~ and i finish it... hehe!!! =D

i haven't been sleeping since sunday... i do my art with wenyu and hanisah from sunday to monday morning. we didn't have any sleep. lolx.. somemore we do our art at the void deck next to the school. lolx. and we really have a fun time there. lolx. anyway, this is my final work. actually, it is not really my final work. as i have make some changes in the end. hehe. anyway, look ugly isn't it?

the shiny, shiny part is the elephant.

anyway, thanks chengda, kianbeng and wenyu. really, really thanks! thanks for helping me all this while. despite we also so slacking... hehe.. anyway, i really cherish those great time we have!! haha... okay, now we got to concentrate on our 'O' level. let do our best yeah? =)

okay, i got to go back and sleep. am really tired now. take care peeps. =)

saded

2005-10-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday after watching naruto show, i nearly cry. cos it was really touching and etc... sigh... luckily, it will never happen in the real life.

somehow i feel sad. really sad. sigh... guess no one will understand ba... never mind then...

thanks kianbeng and gang for chatting with me. actually you guys don't have to because the call then like that... it's okay de. so don't worry much... anyway, thanks. =)

didn't went to albirex match. sorry candy.

to jill, sorry jill... this saturday i can't make it. can change it to sunday? do leave your reply in my tag when you saw this message.

stupid uclers. i hate it. making me can't laugh out loud and can't talk much. damn. making me can't rub my nose hard. as i am now having flu... sigh. grrr....

okay, i am going back to watch the drama. bye.

way to GO, PD!!!! XD

2005-10-10T22:45:00.000+08:00

arh, arh !!! submission for art is coming very, very soon !!!! next monday!!! and of course, 'O' level coming in less than 2 weeks time. *scare* yeah!!! PD finishing soon !! left some drawings, colouring, test cut [which i will it later] and 1 more development. woohoo!! and that's all!!! wahahah... but hopefully ms hoe won't say anything about it. *grin*

have been watching NARUTO's show recently. thanks beatrice!! for lending me the VCDs. thanks lots and lots! =) KAKASHI, SASUKE!!!!!! COOL!!!!! lolx!!! but then i think Zack and Vincent better!!! hehe... saded. all these are from animations only. they won't be... eh... not won't be, is NEVER appear in real life. NEVER WILL IT!!! *but how i wish they can be real life huh... dreamin'*

grrr.... hate to listen to people's quarrelling. hate it to the core. my parents quarrel yesterday. damn. really felt that it was just a small thing. sigh... but they will be okay a little while more. i guess they just have to cool down and think about it.

ARGH!!! Do As Infinity gonna get SEPARATED!!! damn! why is this so??!?!?!?! they are so talented and have a reall, REALLY nice voice.... sigh... why? saded. both kianbeng and i really upset by this news. haiz.... they shouldn't do this huh... as many fans will be upset... *hint ---> me and kianbeng*

getting more and more worried. graduating day is coming REAL soon! roar~ hate this. i don't want!~ haiz.... must think of a plan now. *evil grin* hehe... when i am done, i will say out. heehehehehhehehehehheh... XDDDD

okay! i am going back to do my test cut now. prepare for tomorrow can let me rest early. hehe. and of course, while doing, i will watch NARUTO!! what time is it?!?!?! IT'S NARUTO TIME!!! wahahahahah~ so... BYE!~ *zooms!*

i am tired of all this !!

2005-10-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

i am getting tired of all this. i hate all this words. i hate to keep asking and asking. i hate all these!! i hate reply like 'anything', 'see how'... why can't just give an exact answer? it's making me confuse and at a loss. i will not know what you are thinking or what. i am not a god. i am just a normal human being. actually all this really pissed me off. making me really angry. grrr. hate all this things !!

kbox and kpool tomorrow. kpool with JJ and CD. kbox with them too plus XY and etc. gonna be a fun day. it's the last fun which i can enjoy before the starts of my 'O' level. gonna enjoy it to the fullest!

my nose hurts. >.< due to all those stupid flu and etc. having sensitive nose. damn. a hot sunny day can make me sneeze like hell huh. what a weird thing. people should be getting hot and not cold. guess something wrong with me. =(

getting tired easily recently. been sleeping early. so, sorry guys that i sleep early and therefore when you guys called, i am not able to answer it. was like a snoring pig. *evil grin*

okay, i am getting really tired. really, really tired. got to go and rest. to be more exact, i am going to sleep. yeah. good night to everyone. =)

PS: addicted to Final Fantasy VII now. Aerith rocks! XD must buy PS3 next year and PSP!!! desperate for it. please note again, SUPER DESPERATE!

Graduating Soon !!

2005-10-05T22:01:00.000+08:00

yup, graduating soon. 21 october will be our graduating day. quite soon huh? somehow i don't wish to graduate so soon. i miss all my friends. i am really afraid. after today talking session with wenyu, chengda and kianbeng, i am getting afraid. really. i am afraid that after graduating, we might not be able to contact each other again. sigh. i treasure every friendships. hopefully this friendship don't change. although it won't last forever, but at least, i did have nice and sweet memories of it. thanks peeps. =) thanks for giving me such a nice 5 years of schooling. =)

arh arh!!!! for my past two entry, i forgot to add in something!!!! i really, really wanted to thank Jill, Xiaoyun, Wanting, Meiyi !!! thanks for the present!!! i really, really like it. really, really thanks! =) hehe... going to Kbox this saturday. yeah~ =) going with xiaoyun and etc. finally. got a little time to relax myself. after that, chiong arh!!!!! XDDD

it's been a very long time since i watch albirex match. maybe i going for the tuesday match. hmm.. maybe i later go ask Jill want to watch mah? hehe.

anyway, hmm... i don't know whether you (JiLL) will come across this entry... but hmm... i read your blog. hmm.. i just wanted to ask you to cheer up. cheer up okay? despite i don't know what happen but i do hope you can cheer up. really. i wanted to see a HAPPY JiLL instead of a sad JiLL. so stay happy... anything can just call me and tell me. promise my mouth will be zipped! cheer up. =)

arghh!!! art FINAL deadline coming soon!!! damn. haiz. next week i will start pestering ms lee. hehehehhe. *evil grin* got to pester her to teach me how to do development. wahahahha... =PppPpPpp

okay... got to play awhile... hehe... playing neopets. grin grin. hehe... take care peeps!!! XD

don't know what to say

2005-10-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

went to play pool yesterday. keep winning. but i am not happy at all. actually there's something on my mind. never mind.

i don't know whether i am doing the right thing. sigh. actually i am really, really sick of pleasing people. whatever they want, i please them by 'obeying' them. but whatever i want, they just heck care or whatever. i really hate this. i just wanted both party to be fair. that's all. this is all i wanted. i don't demand much. but why they keep demanding it from me? i don't like this. simply hate it. haiz. whatever. i am sick of thinking about all this.

sorry candy and aida regarding that day. i promise you guys but didn't fulfill. i have my own reasons. really. i am really, really sorry about this. hopefully you guys can understand.

2 more weeks, art must be pass up. it's the final deadline. now i am left with 2-3 pages of my process diary and about 1/4 of my final work. hopefully i can finish it by then. chengda and kianbeng have finish it. sigh. i must buck up. tomorrow onwards till the deadline, i must finish it!!! and 1 more month to my 'O' level. grr.. study only abit. saded. cannot. i really have to buck up.

some of my prelim papers have gotten back. bad results. fail my humanities which is expected. a few more marks to pass my english paper 1 and fail my amaths too. damn. must not play anymore. got to study!!! last week of the october i don't have to go school. it's study week for us. i must make full use of it. damn. that week is also the week to get my art paper 2. haiz. busy. guess after next week, no more playing for me. have to like Jian Jun like that, study 7-8 hours a day. yup, got to do that.

missing bee. i hope he can come back soon. sigh. hope he is alright.

tired.. totally.

2005-09-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

argh!!! tomorrow handin art.. but i haven't finish my coursework. left around 30%. sigh... but i did my process diary. i did 5 out of 8.. wah... not bad le... hopefully after today i stay up i can at least do 7 out of 8. hehe... anyway, just hopefully. =)

hehe... meet candy today. woo! it's been a long time since i last met her. i am really happy to see her today!!! as it's been ages since i last saw her... hehe... we chatted alot today. nice chatting with her. really.

arh... got to do my process diary le. sorry that it's a short entry... as i must chiong to do my art now. okay, got to go. good night peeps! =)

...

2005-09-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

arh!!! prelims over. guess i will get bad grades. saded. never mind. i must learn from mistakes. =) now, chiong my art. yup. left with only a few parts to finish. happy. very happy. hehe.

now i am at home. yeah! got to use the comp. but for only awhile. got to go JP to buy some coloured paper and fur. hehe. after wards back to school again. hopefully i can finish my art huh. hehe. i got confidence that i can finish. woohoo~ XDDD and next, my process diary!!!! grr... hate to do it but no choice. yeah!! i must score in my art!!!!! wish me good luck. =)

sorry candy... that i didn't manage to chat very long with you... really sorry. chat with you tonight or tomorrow okay? do cheer up. i do understand that feelings. it is just like last year... i did cry for that particular person too.. but don't worry, time passed by very soon. do cheer up okay? call me if you need someone to talk too... my phone is always on. =)

gotten something which makes me really happy. thanks peeps. hehe... but i think he shall close his mouth.. really. =P

arh... i miss bee. despite he has message me last week and call me but i really miss him. sigh... miss those days. hopefully he is alright in burnei. heard from him that he is soooo tanned that he can't even recongise himself. lolx. i want to see it. ahha... waiting for the day to come. lolx!!

okay, i got to go soon. do take care!!!! =)

i am stressed UP

2005-09-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

i am stressed up. totally. influence by the surroundings. getting insane soon.

i am not complaining anything... i just wanted a good rest. never mind, guess i will only rest after my 'O's. yup, i will buck up. like what i had promise my dad.

somehow i feel sad. and pitiful for the old lady today. she ask me for money. i really don't know how to react. i really wanted to help her. but i can't. it's my parents' hard earn money. i can't give her just like that. but i really wants to help her... she really seems pitiful to me... i am not selfish or what. it just that i am not working. i am just a student... if i am really rich and i am earning money, i will give her. sigh... i am really bothered by this incident today... wenyu told me some of them are cheaters and etc.. they will not satisfy by the amount which others give... i know.. but somehow i just feel sad and pitiful for the old lady. sigh.

things are happening too quickly for me. i don't know how to say... some of you know. i really don't know what to do. haiz.

nice chatting with wenyu today. thanks wenyu and sorry that you have to go home late because of me. i am really sorry. i just don't feel like going home early today. really. sorry about it. >.<

1 more week, prelim will be over. getting worried. cos after prelim, it will be 'O' level. haiz... busy time for me. can't have fun yet. got to bear the times... sigh... never mind, it will soon be over. yup.

okay, i am too depressed or sad to continue... was feeling really tired and fed up with everything now. okay, take care peeps.

keep thinking about him

2005-09-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

sigh.. recently i have watch a drama. and the guy look like HIM! hmm... not totally look like... just some part look like him only. haiz... mades me keep thinking about him and liking him even more. wtf. i really, really miss him. despite i did see him but that's only one glance and no more. wtf.

i knew that he knows it. all the while he knows it. therefore i really don't know how to face him at all. i just don't wish to think about it. i don't expect anything. i just want to see him and nothing else. i really don't expect anything.

sorry kianbeng. i know that you wanted to help me. i really appreciate it. really. but i just don't wish to so frankly and tell him. i don't want anything to happen. and i don't wish to be upset. therefore really sorry that i had to stop what you are going to do. i know you will say me timid or whatever. i am. i admit. so, really sorry about it. but i do appreciate it. really.

cut myself 3 times yesterday. accidently and not on purpose. wanted to have fate with someone but ended up is another person. sigh. maybe i just don't have the luck or whatever. sigh. quite disappointed. =(

sorry candy, didn't really chat alot with you yesterday. really sorry about it. was not feeling very happy. hope you don't mind. and good luck for your common test!! take care too! and also, sorry that i didn't have time to edit the comments section. was busy with my art recently as i got to hand in next friday. so, when i free then i go edit okay? really sorry.

ok, i got to hand over the comp to my brother. shall update when i am free.. or maybe when anything happens. =) take care ~ =)

mix feelings >.<

2005-09-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

to believe it or not? i don't know. some how i think it's seems real to me. but in the heart, i not sure. many people told me not to believe but i don't know. sometimes i chose to believe. but i was foolishly fooled. maybe... cos that's what others think. sometimes i think, am i foolish? am i really a fool? haiz... i hate this fact. when needed help, i am there. when i needed help, the person i really trusted is not there. what's the world coming to? why am i living in such a world? sigh... maybe i just needed some time to think. yup, i just needed some time...

getting tired

2005-09-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

arghhhh!!! tomorrow again, having two papers. fark. why is this happening to me??? i hate it! grr... i am not a person who is good at study. i am a person who is very sucky in studies. grr!!!!! hopefully this awful time can pass by quickly!

yesterday went to watch training with Jill. grr... bad day. they push up the time for training. sigh. never mind, went to have albi house to have dinner. woo! it's been some time i ate at albi house. hehehe... delicious!!! and FULL tooo!!!!!!! actually i was rather shocked by some people there. really shocked. never mind. can't go to tamp to watch the match. having two papers tomorrow. WTF.

been really frustrated and down recently. due to the surroundings. grr... never mind, it's over.

finally!!! am TALL enough to hang up a LANTERN!!! yeah!! i know it's nothing to be proud of... but at least this is something i am proud of!!! cos i have been said by others that i am REALLY SHORT!!!! sigh... i knew i am short.. but by hanging up a lantern is something which i am really proud. hehe. i have take a picture of the lantern i hang up. shall post up by i am free. now not free... later got to go study. sigh.

addicted to Final Fantasy 7 and naruto!!! woo!! vicent!! hehehe... watch the FFVII Advent Children. woo!!! nice show!!! Kianbeng, Chengda and wenyu went to my house and watch. woo!! kianbeng is so happy.. haha... and i am busying looking at the guys inside and the graphic and of course the action!!! lolx... the graphic is so, so, so damn nice!!!! wah!! if i can do a film like this, i would be happy like hell. at least a little. hehe...

okay, i got to go bathe. next week or what then shall update again. take care peeps! don't ended up like me having flu... *sneeze!*

My 100th entry!!!

2005-09-13T19:29:00.000+08:00

wah~ this is my 100th entry. cool huh. didn't expect time pass by so fast. now it is already september. really hard to believe i going to do my final exams soon. wah~ anyway, good luck for me!!! =) chiong arh ~~~

have my first paper today. english paper. woo~ quite difficult. i had always hate paper 1. i perfer paper 2. sigh... anyway, hopefully i can pass the exams. XD tomorrow will be my science practical. grr... i hate chemistry practical. i always fail my chemistry. sigh... never mind!!! i will work hard. yup, i will. have been chionging for my art this afternoon. not bad. i have finish 1/6 of the art piece. please note!!! 30th september 2005 will be the submission date~~ art people please take note. =) and do inform others. =) thanks!

going out later... hehe... not having fun but study for my amaths exam which is on thursday. damn. still have social studies exams on thursday too! fark. i hate HUMANITIES!!!! sigh. i just hope that i can pass my amaths as i doesn't want to disappoint someone... hehe... will be very very busy from now on. may not be able to update often. sigh. never mind. i will try my best to update. hehe...

arh!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUMMER!!!!! =) sorry didn't have the chance to meet you face to face and give you the present. shall meet up one day okay? hehehhe... anyway, do take care!!!! =)

back from dinner in MALAYSIA !!

2005-09-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

wah! i am sooooooooo FULL now !!!! i just came back from malaysia. went there to eat dinner... is a wedding dinner!! woohoo~ with my favourite sharkfin soup and etc. wah~~ i ate 2+ bowl of sharkfin soup. simply delicious. *yummy!* and when i saw the couple, i keep thinking about my future... when i be like that?!?!?!? what i mean is having a partner beside me, having wedding dinner and etc... i don't know why, i just feel weird. anyway, when i am on my way to hop in my dad's car, a gang of people walk out and keep saying something that's not very nice. i heard people say they going to fight. weird. i had never seen people fight when it is other people's wedding. never mind. maybe they are just jealous or what. i don't know. heck. =)

my sharkfin soup!!! despite it doesn't look very delicious...

arh arh !! when i am on my way to my grandparents house, the road there is really like Mt Akira. it is a mountain of course. and the road there really seems like it is Mt Akira... but the only difference is that the weather in Malaysia is soooooo damn HOT!!! haiz... next time must not wear thick clothes or whatever there. yup, never. =)

oh ya!! i mention in my pervious blog or what, i have draw a picture which i like it very, very much. i copy from a picture from a particular web. actually is my friend ask me to help her to draw. hehe... and i really like it very much. here it is....

how does it look like? =PpPpPp

and this is the lantern which i saw... it's sooo cute !!! it's not i done it. it's from a lower sec student.

a cute fairy huh... cute !!!! XD

went to study at mac with wenyu yesterday. wah! not bad. we really did study. and saw this few cute little lantern. got eeyore!!!! despite it is not well-coloured... but never mind. i still like eeyore. =)

one more thing!!! just now when i was on my way back.. we need to pass through the custom first right? then we have to let the police check our stuff and etc... wah~ some of the police really look handsome and suave!!! haaha.... hey! it's normal for girls to look at guys~ and was shock that the security nowadays are so tight. after we finish with tge custom, they have a special unit which specially checkup on bombs and etc... wah~ i first time saw this kind of thing. but for the sake of singapore's safety, it is a need for it. hehe...

yucks! i hate people fu yan me. simply hate it. can't stand this kind of people. never ever~

feeling sad. =(

2005-09-09T16:24:00.000+08:00

sigh. bee has gone to brunei. this morning he message me saying he is going to board the plane soon. sigh. really miss going out with him. haiz... actually i was really touched by his message this morning. i felt that he is really my very best friend. a very best friend which cannot be replace by others. haiz... gonna be bored and lonely this few days. maybe i should just study and let the time pass by.

in school now. doing my art again. hehe... i am slacking now. just now do abit, so now rest awhile. later will do more. actually now i am motivated to do my art. really. arh!! just now i took some pictures. one is a picture drawn by me and another one is a cute little fairy lantern. but i can't upload the pictures now. don't have the wire with me. >.< shall post it up when i reach home. =)

today is the day!!! despite i am looking forward, but because of some reason, it make me really upset. *sob* tomorrow might be going out to play pool. might be only. have not go out and play for quite some time. sigh. busy. grr....

okay, i shall go back to do my art. shall not slack anymore. i have promise bee i will study hard. yup. i will try my best to pass. i will do it. update later. *zooms!*

regrets

2005-09-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

damn. missed my physics remedial today. overslept. sigh. actually i did heard the alarm ring but was too tired to wake up. in the end, i only went for my amaths remedial. sigh... was really, really tired. nearly sleep during the remedial. anyway, lucky that i attended the remedial. teacher was teaching new sub topic. phew. =)

didn't eat well today. no mood to eat. was depression today. not pms of course. i don't know why. non of the food attracts me. sigh. in the end, i ate a little. sorry guys. i am not in very good mood today... sorry for today. and sorry that i didn't tell you guys why. really sorry and hope you guys can understand.

was really bad luck today. i thought i have lost my cutting knife. in the end, it was with teck huat. sigh. never mind. then i lost my pin. damn it. making me look like a mad women today. fark~ anyway, tomorrow will be a better day. =) yup, definitly! 1 more day to go. =)

sigh. my best friend going to brunei tomorrow. i really feel bad. cos i didn't manage to celebrate his birthday today. having remedial. actually i didn't know yesterday he is free... actually he did have something on but somethings just cropped up. sigh. really regret. i feel really, really bad. chatted with him yesterday. really feel sad that he is leaving for a month or so. can't go out with him. can't joke with him. can't chat with him. can't go shopping with him. damn... so many 'can't's!!!! haiz... really hope that times really flies now. he said that he will be back latest by 24 october. haiz. it's quite long. hopefully he can come back fast. anyway, do take care, my friend. really. =)

actually today i did feel really regrets. i did something really, really wrong. i should not have did that. i can't say out. maybe i am just escaping from the fact, but i really don't wish to say out. haiz.. i really don't know what to do. can someone just tell me what to do? i think i really hurt that person. really regrets. =(

holidays ending soon but didn't went to shop or what. haiz. but it's okay as i didn't have money to go out. never mind, i just have to wait for my 'O' level to finish. yup. but i might be working... grr... never mind!! i want to earn more money!!! yeah~ XD

suddenly i have a feeling to become a nurse. i wanted to study nursing in poly. maybe this is just a act of impulsive. i don't know. i feel like helping people. really. and this can save people too... but i am scare of needles, blood, organs and etc... sigh... if they wanted me to take care of kids, i am afriad that i might torture them. sigh... see, i can't be nurse le. damn. maybe i should try something else? hehe

okay, i am feeling dizzy now. have to go for quick study and get a rest. tomorrow going school again. sigh.. have to buck up. prelim coming!!! got to study~ take care people!!! =)

2 days left

2005-09-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

woo~ play badminton today!! wah!! super fun. sweat alot. hehe... cos long time never exercise. must have some exercise to keep our body healthy!!!! hehehe.... XDDD but i guess kian beng must be very happy. as SOMEONE *ahem ahem* play badminton with him. lolx!!! never mind, let him enjoy it~ hehehehhee.

sigh.. never really do alot of art today. was slacking. sigh. >.< never mind, decided to bring home my art piece tomorrow. can't do art on friday. fark. haiz...

yup, 2 days left. can't wait for that day. yeah, some of you might know. shall not talk about it. =)

grr~~~ was thinking of eating pizza today!!! damn. didn't have enough money. grr!! never mind, let's eat next time or maybe tomorrow huh... *evil grin* sigh... tomorrow will be a busy day for me. have 2 hours of remedial with mr lee, have 6 and a half hour with mrs loh. grr... what a busy day for me huh. haiz... again, i can't do much art tomorrow. damn. basically can't do anything. oh well...

can't believe one week is going to be over. my holidays gonna just ended like this. everyday went back school. actually this doesn't seems like a holidays to me. it is more seems like a school-free week for me. sigh. never mind. at least i do enjoy the days with laoda gang. lolx. we chatted alot of things. damn, getting polluted by lao er. haha... XDDD

i miss him. super miss him. have not see him for days. fark. i hate this. i want to see him badly. sigh.

weird feeling... >.<

2005-09-06T11:12:00.000+08:00

sianz... now i am in school. doing my art again. finish the snowman already. now working on the santa clause. way to go !!!! XD

feeling so weird. really, really miss him. actually i have try not to remember anything about him but i did. damn. i doesn't want to remember. i am trying to forget him. maybe totally. but i can't. sigh. =( like what i said earlier, he and me is TOTALLY impossible. therefore i have been trying to forget. sigh. maybe this will take some time. i don't know. sigh. just let this be a crush. maybe i should stop dreaming about him or think things about him huh. maybe i should try. =((

hungry. i am hungry now. went to school early and didn't have my breakfast. sigh. must go eat later!!! never let myself hungry!!! nor let my friends hungry!!! never~~~

i have change my blog skin. lolx. emily the evil. i don't know why. this really represents my feelings now. i am feeling so nuts now. lolx. maybe when i get better, i will change to a better skin huh. lolx. shall see then. =)

update later.....

what a day

2005-09-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

again. i went to school. just to get my art piece done. but in the end, it never. i ended up playing comp in another room. my laoda and laoer as usual, playing their maple story. lolx. wah! shocked right? how can students play games in school? some more in the presence of our teacher!! lolx!!! but anyway, the teacher is nice. yup, she is our art teacher, ms lee. woohoo~ 3 cheers for her man! XD damn. she knew about my secrets. thanks to my laoer. grr... i try to pretend it is not but in the end, she confirm that i did. sigh. at first i thought she will say cannot like this or whatever but in the end, she say IT'S OKAY~! wah!!!!! really shocked. normally a teacher will never encourage this kind of thing but she did. hehe... maybe both of us are in the same boat? haha... XDDD

anyway, my art teacher went for a haircut. say the truth, she looked cute with her new hair. really!!! but my laoer say that she look like a doggie. lolx.. but i really have to admit that she did look a little. hehe... sorry no offence. =PpPppPPp

fark! =( i really hope he is alright. things are happening so fast. damn it. i really, really worry about him. have not been hearing any news about him. i really do hope he is okay. sigh. i really don't know what to do. have not been able to eat well. hey, he's not my boyfriend or what. nononono... i am the one who have a crush on him. so worry about him is perfectly normal!!! haiz... let's pray that he is really alright!!! shall go search for some news regarding him tomorrow. wish me good luck. =)

hehehehe... tomorrow is pool day again. after much playing of yahoo pool today, i feel so happy. tomorrow shall be the REAL one! woohoo~ and of course, i must do my art for continuously 4hours before i can play pool. must not be slacking like today again!!! hehehe...

i have started studying. my first subject, chemistry. all the while i have always dislike this subject. nono, must not have this thinking again. i must now think of way to excel. as i have message my dad today and promise him i will excel in my 'O' level. yeah yeah, i will do it. JIAYOU~~~~ XD

shocked!

2005-09-05T08:37:00.000+08:00

hehehehehehe.... here i am, enjoying my september 1 week's holidays!!!! =PpPP actually it's not a week for me to play or fool around. it is a week for me to study for my upcoming prelim exams! damn... despite the fact that i wanted to fail my prelim due to my art coursework but never mind, i will try my best to study hard!!! thanks candy!! for the encouragement!! =)

wah!! it's really early for me to wake up. heeh... cos i am going to school later. sigh... to do my art coursework. yeah. say the truth, sometimes i do feel fed up with my art. cos the lines are so fragile that i feel like giving up. nononoonono!!!! not gonna give up!!!!! i have to do finish!!!! yeah!!! do encourage me yeah? ehhehehehehe. XDDDD

yes!! today is chemistry day for me!!!! later going to study outside with my friends. words to encourage me? hehe... yeah! no matter what, i must pass my science with at least a b4!!!!! yuppie!!!! XpPpPpP i hate science but i am not gonna give it up!!!! hehehehe... so, wish me good luck! =D

lolx~ find that how come i so hyper now? hehehe... cos my motivator is coming back soon! hehehe... yup, can't let him down. must study hard! hey! it's time to get serious! woohoo~

say the truth, i am quite shock by the comment people leave. some more is from people i don't know!!!! as i had never imagine others can read my blog. so quite shock. anyway, thanks for reading my blog!!!! hehehe...

anyway, today is my dad's birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!! i am sorry that i didn't get any present for you. but don't you worry, i have made plans. hehehe... guess he will never drop by my blog. haiz...

damn!!! my flu is getting worse!!!! everyday before i sleep, i have to cover myself with blanket from top to toe. sigh... as whenever there's wind, i will sneeze! damn it. nonono, i will not let this idiotic flu bug making me sick!!!! i will fight the bug till the end!!! yeah!!!! hehehehe.... nuts again. XpPppPPp

okay, got to go play my game for awhile... hehee... shall study a little more while!!! as you guys know, i will WORK HARD, PLAY HARD!!!!! woohoo~~~ take care peeps!!!! never let flu bug invaded your body~~~ hehehe... =PpPpPpPp

love story

2005-09-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

hehehehe... started to love to listen to love stories. maybe because i am alone now therefore like to listen to people's love story? haha... say the truth, feel quite lonely. eh... don't know why. wah! started to get emotional recently. haiz.. maybe i just felt that i lack people's love or whatever. sigh.

was watching tao's show now. actually i love watching this show. it talks about people's life. many different aspects of life. woah~ learn alot from this show. there's a few sentence she say which really touched my heart. eh... hehehehe... as you guys know, my english is super poor. so, i doesn't really know how to translate. never mind. i just agar agar translate. it was saying that as long as you willing to work hard, you can definitly find true love. wow... and another one!!! die, i don't know how to translate. damn. sorry peeps. =X

sigh. haven't see him for 2 days. started to miss him. damn. who is the he?!?!?!?!? haha... he is my MOTIVATOR!!!! hehehehe... somehow i just feel we are impossible. damn. i hate this kind of feelings!!!! actually i wanted to think positive but i really cant!!!! damn it. my world is now upside now. just can't seem to get things right. guess i need HE to adjust my world. haha.. maybe i am just dreaming. i don't know. heheheehhe

anyway, thanks hansong!!! for treating me pooling. woo~~~ actually i let you win de... so stop being humble yeah? haha... just kidding. but after prelim, let's go and play again yeah? this time i won't let you anymore~~ wahahahahahahhahahahaha... yup, i am nuts. =)

come to think about it. i am now 17. really wonder what did i done for this past 17years? i guess is playing? haha.. i am a playful girl. but then now, my motto is WORK HARD, PLAY HARD!!yup! therefore i am now enjoying my life. i doesn't want to live in regrets.

i saw my ex yesterday. he was just at my block downstairs. shocked. didn't expect to see him. on tuesday, he did came back to school to find his teacher. anyway, he change quite abit. but heck. i doesn't wanted to see him. i have totally forget everything about him. i hate remembering things that are in the past. yeah, i am now having a new life. never mind. when i have my partner next time, i will definitly treat him not the way i treat my ex. never! and also, i mustn't let in to my future partner. i mean in certain things. hehehehe... i must have my stand!!!!! yeah, yeah, yeah, i am getting nuts again. never mind, just heck what i am saying. weird me. bleach.

oh ya!! gonna change my blogskin soon!!!! shall change it when i found one. i find that my blog is quite childish. so yeah, gonna change it soon~ gotta go now. take care peeps!!! XDDD

i am in school~ XD

2005-09-03T13:47:00.000+08:00

hohoho~ guess where i am now. yuppie, in school. struggling. doing my art. but then i am lazy. as there's no motivator or what to motivate me to do my art. grr.. never mind. here i am to update my blog. actually i do find kinda of bored. as school really freak's me off. damn.

out of the sudden, i really feel that i am getting nuts! yup, nuts. i don't know why. maybe because i am getting older? or maybe because i can't stand the people with stupid attitudes around me? i don't know. i just can't be bother with them. i hate people to give me attitudee. i will get pissed off. i guess some of you is also same as me. never mind, just doesn't feel like bothering people with attitude anymore.

damn. this few days i have been thinking of my future. just felt that i can't get married. lolx. too young to think this right? but i just like to think far. and make abit of plans. firstly, my character is so boyish. [maybe because my house is full of guys?!!?!?!?!?] i can't cook. the only thing i know is cook plain rice, a simple egg, maggi mee and abit more. i can't possibly feed my future husband with those simple dishes right? so, guess he must eat canned food everyday huh. lolx. next, i can't do housework. whenever i do housework, i will immediatety have flu. as i have sensitive nose. i can't dry clothes and hang it outside. i got no strength. damn. all this is what most important to a girl. but i can't do all this. damn. maybe i will learn huh? haha. i am just kidding. =PppPpppPpp

candy, sorry dude. didn't chat with you much yesterday. was really sleepy. therefore i fall asleep. must really take care of your health~! weather's been really bad recently. must drink lots and lots of water. even me, is sick. got sorethroat. damn. so, let's work hard to get well huh. =)

i am sad. =(

2005-09-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

i know many of my friends say that i have some mental illness. yup, i admit. i tend to think weird sometime. but hey, i am normal. i just like to think weird. well, never mind.

today i went to take a test to see how happy i am. wow! i am above average. that's good. hehe... cos its better to stay happy than sad. hehehehehehe... not bad huh.

actually today i don't feel happy at all. well, it's not that i am having pms. i guess because of some of the reasons therefore i am so sad. firstly because of that special someone. never mind, guess i just have to bear for awhile more. yup, i can do it. although he is my motivator, but i must prove that i can live without him... i hope so... second thing is about my own health. damn. i hate indigestion. i simply hate it!!!! haiz... guess i have to drink lots and lots of water huh. sigh.

yuppie! playing pool tomorrow!!! with my dearie friend, wenyu [maybe] and hansong and maybe yude. not bad huh. hehe... finally!! i can play pool again. simply love pooling~ =) hopefully i can win all of them again.. ehehhehee *evil*

yeah!! having a week holidays. but sadly, i still have to come back everyday to do my art. this year i must not fail!!!! i cannot be like last year again!!! yesss, i must have the determination!!! hehehehehehheehehehhee..................

sigh... trying my best to cheer up. but it's hard. after what the two persons told me, kinda feel abit hurt. but i can't be that petty to get angry with them. but i just find abit hurt. i know it's truth but it's not i wanted. i have never wanted like this. no one wants to. maybe i try to act happy infront of you all. but i can't act totally. i am a human. i have feelings. so i will still be sad. sigh.. just felt that it's really hard pleasing you guys. just getting sick of it.

depression again

2005-08-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

finally!!! we have finish our talen quest!!! and surprisingly... we got to the FIRST!!! wow! but i just felt that i look sucky today. damn it. never mind. it's over. so i don't really have to bother or think about it again. =)

i don't know what's happening to me today. i jus felt weird. i guess i am just having some mood swings. as you all know, girls tend to have mood swing sometimes. never mind, tomorrow will be a better day! =)

wah! went out to play pool from 2pm to 6pm. cool!!! actually we wanted 2 tables but in the end, we only play 1 table. because there's alot of people today!!! damn. anyway, enjoy playing with jianjun, yude, whye khong and wenyu. haha!! i continuously win 4 games!!! i win all of them!!! wah!!! this is really my best records!!! and i do enjoy playing with them. let's play again another time!!! it's sooooo fun!!!! lolx!!! XDDD

tomorrow is teachers' day. don't have to go back school. but i need to go back. as i got to do my art. have not been touching it recently. so tomorrow i must go back. =)

hehehehehe... this is the first time i saw him wearing white. he don't really wear white but today, it's his first time wear white! wow!!! i was sooooo surprise and happy!!! cos he really look handsome in it!!!! but sigh... didn't took a picture of him. was busy. and also, he's busy. grr.... but i hope i can see him tomorrw!! let's just wish me good luck! XDD let's hope that he will wear specs tomorrow!!!! =PpPpppP

why? why? why?

2005-08-30T21:45:00.000+08:00

grr!!!! why must be this happening?!?!?!?! sigh... how i hope he can wear that colour tomorrow. but saded. he wore it today. damn. but hopefully my friends can help me do something... hehe...

tomorrow will be performing!!! woohoo~~~~ it happen so fast! anyway, all of us will do our very best tomorrow~ =) it's alright if we never get into first. never mind. at least we try our best! yeah~~~ =)

wah! a busy day for me today. my head nearly explode. grr... too much things happen so suddenly. i can't even catch a breathe. sigh. but i know all this are worth it! cos this is the last year i am staying in this school!! i must treasure the remaning time!!! yeaH!!! XDDD

woohoo!!! tomorrow after school, gonna go play pooling!!! yeah, yeah, yeah! we gonna play 2 tables!!! wah~ first time play 2 tables. i guess it must be real fun!! hehehe....

anyway, i just can't understand something. it's about some girls. is it look better when girls lower down their head and eyes look up so that it will become big? i find it sooooo fake!!! hmm... maybe i have a 'guy' 's mind therefore i never understand. never mind. i don't really care about their life. cos i have no right to comment about others. ok, that's it!

hehe... got to go do my chocolate 'flowers' now. shall update tomorrow if i can. do take care peeps! jia you for tomorrow!!!! XDDD

happy birthday my dear friend, BEE!!!!

2005-08-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

hehehehehhee~~~~ went out to celebrate my all-time best friend, BEE~~~~ XDDD haha... actually i intend to make it a surprise 'party' for him... but because of some reasons, i tell him... haha... he seems touched. but he just acted as if he was not. haha... but anyway, we did really enjoy ourself today... and of course, the most importantly is that, BEE enjoy himself today!!! =))) and we did take some neoprints... but sadly, the group picture is with my cousin... so gonna wait for quite some time before she can send me. haiz...

this is the picture i took with my cousin!!! but something is weird!!! both of us the skin is not so white!!! but in this picture, it is soooooo white!!! grr....

grr!! hate my new shoes!!!! cos it causes my leg to have blisters and etc... damn.... luckily my cousin buying new slippers so i temporaily wear hers. woo~~ hehe... i guess maybe is because it is a new shoes, so i might not be so used to it. never mind, i shall wear often... hehe... but of course, not that often. haiz... wah!!! went town today and realised i got so much things to buy!!!! i wanted to buy new clothings and shoes and of course some accessories. but then all these needs money. sigh... me broke. grr... never mind, shall save it up!!! =))))

anyway, we saw FOUR idols today!!!! woohoo!!! at first, we were at far east. then BEE saw this guy... his name is CHEN HAN WEI. hmm... but i didn't have any expressions or reactions... as i seen him before.. so quite okay. secondly, we saw silver at HMV. wah... i didn't recognise her. as i don't watch the superstars show so didn't have any impressions on her... but then i heard her name before because my friends like her... then after that, we saw another guy [forgot what name] from the superstar show too. again like what i say earlier, i didn't watch the show. finally!!!! this time is me the one who saw this person first. i saw HUANG YI DA at TAKA!!! wah!!! at first i didn't know is him. i was just standing there waiting for my cousin to come down from the escalaors. he too, coming down from the escalators. my cousin was just behind him!!! then i keep looking at him as i find him so familiar. then he look at me [because i keep looking at him]. wah~ not bad wor, got eye-contact... haha!!! then he just quickly walk away... lolx!!! i guess he is afraid that i am his fan or what... haha~ don't worry i am not. if i saw w-inds, then that's a different case. =PPppPPp but anyway, a good experience for me. =)

hehe... went to play pool again!!!! wah!!! really enjoy it!!! woohoo~~ simply love pooling now. lolx... actually we wanted to play bowling today... but it was too late for us... sigh... no choice, we went home and i reach home at 12+am... hehe... never mind, let's just have fun next time!!! hehe....

ah!! this is the pictures i took~

this is the birthday cake!!! actually we brought a small cake... as it was only the four of us eating the cake... so... actually the cake is yummy!!! and bee enjoy it as he has not eaten a BIRTHDAY cake during his birthday!!!

this is the part when he is cutting the cake... haha... sigh... forgot to take his pic when he was making a wish~~~ never mind... =)

bee!!!! hehe... i finally can take a proper picture of him... haha...

okay, i guess that's all... shall sleep now!!! take care people!!! =))) nitez!

stupid: i am having shoulder ache

2005-08-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

damn it!!! having this stupid shoulder ache. grr... maybe is because i have been sleeping on the floor... provided i have a mattres... but is really a thin mattress... haiz... or maybe because i am getting old?!?!?! haiz... just felt that i am getting older... grr... never mind, heck.

we having our 'last audition' today. woo~ not bad. but then i am just angry towards a particular person. never mind. guess some of you might know. i simply hate people who give me his/her stupid attitude. yucks. just hate the person. stop acting as if you are the important person or whatever fark. not everyone can stand you. idiot. grr...

yeah~ tomorrow going out with bee, my cousin and her friend. haha... shall have a great fun tomorrow!!!! hehehe... and of course, shall give him a surprise... hohohohohoohohoh.... XDDD

arh arh!!!! shall introduce you guys my laoda's 'gang'~~ hehe....

this is yude and my lao DA!!! haha...lao Da is the guy in white. hehe... anyway, this was taken when we are in KBOX.. hehee.. let's go kbox again!!!

my lao ER!!!! hahaha... actually in real life, he looks cute. but sadly... his mind is.... *ahem ahem* haha... our 'gang' have been polluted by him.. haha... anyway, really enjoy his company. =)

wenyu and me!!!! wenyu is our 'gang' xiao di. lolx. sigh... she's taller than me... therefore i am xiao xiao di. saded. never mind. haha... anyway, she is also not bad. we always have lots of fun when the four of us are together!!!! hehehee.... [damn, i look like i have rabbit teeth. grr.. ugly me. yucks!]

this is JJ!!!! hehe... not that LIN JUN JIE... this is TAN JIAN JUN!!! lolx. haha... just post this picture for fun. anyway, he really look cute in real life. haha... not bad, some one praise you.

hehe... guess this is all!! haha... oh ya!!! still have my eeyore!!!! this eeyore is given by my BEST BUDDY, CANDY ONG!!!! haha... really thanks!!! i do really like this birthday gift!!! hehe... took different shot of eeyore... taken by my xiao di, wenyu.

hehe... lying on my pencil box. cute right? anyway, in the background, that's my art piece. but with no colours. hehe

this is another shot of baby eeyore....

clos view of eeyore~~~

this is real CUTE!!!!! haha... simply like it to sit like that.. lolx!!!

ok... i am getting tired now.. shall have an early sleep today~~ super, super tired!!!! hehe... hopefully tonight i can dream of him. lolx. just a thought. ok, take care guys!!!! =)

***PS: i have been call by my friends, some more some is my best friends, they call me stupid.... sigh... maybe i am real stupid?!?!?! saded. ***

DEPRESSION

2005-08-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

DEPRESSION~

sigh... lots of things happen yesterday. sigh... really makes me feel so angry and really, really upset. upset because of certain things... but now, it have been solved. =) but sad is another thing. after i know about what hansong and joe told me... i feel like banging the wall. really. sometimes i just think that i am so suay that everytime i have a crush or what on a particular person, it always fail for me. unlucky right? sigh. now i having mixed feelings... i really don't know what to do.. i don't know whether to give up or continue... sigh... maybe just let me think about it again... die, the more i don't want to see him, the more he appears... and the more i see him, the more i like him. damn. haiz... never mind... let's just forget it.

finally!!! our practise are over... tomorrow going to show teacher how have we progress!!! and wednesday, let's just rock the stage people!!!! woo~~~ can't wait for wednesday!!! haha... gonna enjoy ourself on stage... no matter what position we got, let's just enjoy ourself out there!!!! woohoo~~!!!

woohoo~ went to play pool yesterday.. not bad... haha... lolx... my cousin really funny when she play pool. actually she doesn't know how to play... but never mind. everyone will have their first time. =) so let's go play pool again on saturday!!! haha... and also, don't forget our little secret~~ *shh....*

anyway... got to thanks to my laoda 'gang' memebers... thanks for all the comfort that you guys gave me... despite it is not very obvious that you guys are comforting me... but don't worry... i can feel it... really thanks for everything... arh!!! i got to thank candy too... thanks for comforting and cheer me up.. really thanks alot!!!! =)

grr... i recently found out that i can't EAT MALAY FOOD!!!!! damn. i will have stomach upset. damn it. it really make me feel like puking... i don't know why.... haiz... guess from now on, i will keep away from malay foods... sigh...

okay guys. i got to go now... cos have to go settle some thing... hehe... ok, do take care guys!!!! =)

i am getting tired!!!

2005-08-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

damn hell.. i am getting more and more tired. my body is tired yet my mind is so energentic. damn. i don't like this. i wanted to have a good night sleep which seems like it will never work for me. grr... sigh. hopefully tonight i can have a good night sleep. =)

today we have our practises. not bad. many things went well. on friday, teacher wanted to see how we have progress. hopefully we can get to the first!!! wahahahah~ yup, i know, it's just purely my wish. =)

damn, he knew it. grr... i guess even a idiot also will get the hint. never mind. it's good that he got the hint. so that i don't have to waste my time to tell him or what. haiz... yes, i know it's impossible between us. never mind. i will face the reality soon. just don't let this dream wake up first. let him be my motivator first. so i can carry on study hard. yes, life will still go on without him. yup, i knew that. sigh. i just feel sad. despite i did tell wenyu how i really feel and etc. maybe she don't understand how i feel. i guess non of my friends can understand. they will just laugh and treat it as a joke. never mind. it's over. =)

mood was not really good for today. i don't know why. i think i am getting nuts. really nuts. saying something that is not logical, lame and etc. grr... i don't know what happening to me!!!!! damn. haiz, hope this can get over soon. haiz... i really, really don't want what to say. i am really pissed off, sad, mood swing or whatever. haiz...